Santa Monica Mountain Challenge

Funnest Known Time is a Randonneuring, Sky Running and Fastpacking hybrid challenge aka Thrashing. Expect running, scrambling and problem solving. Funnest Known Time Wins.

The Santa Monica Mountain Challenge is the most challenging and spiritually demanding “trail’ run of your life. And/or it’s the funnest high-angle dirt scramble ever conceived of. Either way it’s 14.7 mile Thrash linking the four highest peaks in the Santa Monica Mountains. Get a cue sheet. Bring a friend. Expect chaparral, sage, rattlesnakes, Type 2 Fun, Ego Death, Exercise Induced Exorcism and, possibly, Ascension.

The first 10 teams to complete the challenge and submit proof of completion will receive FKT Thrash Awards—2 Custom Nalgene Bottles, 2 Ciele PYNCaps, 2 limited edition L/S FKT t-shirts, and a grip of  limited edition FKT stickers. Teams 11 to infinity that complete the challenge and submit proof of completion will receive an official Route Sticker and whatever other random shit we feel like putting into an envelope at that time. Regardless—and more importantly—attempting and/or completing this challenge will lead to pedestrian clarity, an appreciation for hot and cold running water,Type 2 Fun, Ego Death, Exorcism, Rapture and Ascension. 99% of these exist entirely outside the context of Late Stage Capitalism, are carbon neutral and don’t cause waste.

The course opens at 12:01am January 27th, 2024 and never closes. This challenge is open to the public and costs nothing to do. FKT is modeled after the Brevet Cards used by an esoteric cycling tradition called Randonneuring. The basic gist is this; you and a friend can complete the challenge on your own time whenever you want. All you need is the GPX file and a cue sheet which you will stamp at each of the three checkpoints. Once the challenge is finished you submit proof of completion in the form of a photograph of your cue sheet featuring all stamps from the checkpoints.

FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF RULES AND ALL THE BETA YOU WILL NEED CLICK THIS LINK.

HOW TO PLAY

FKT Digital Brevet Card

Challenger One(Required)
Challenger Two(Required)
Drop files here or
Max. file size: 50 MB.
    Upload a photograph of your completed (fully stamped) Cue Sheet. And, any photos and videos of any and all Physically, Spiritually, Mentally and Emotionally significant moments.
    Shipping Address(Required)

    Santa Monica Mountain Challenge: Stupid Routes; A community Conversation

    Apparatus

    One time in Sedona, Arizona in 1996 I went on a full moon ride with my friend Greg and a bunch locals but not our friend Rick who we left at camp because he hurt himself playing hackysack while we were getting ready to ride because he was too high and swept his own leg out from under himself. Anyway, we heard about the ride from some dude at a bike shop that we had visited early that day. The dude was like come to Carl’s house and be there by 10:00pm. We got to Carl’s early so while we were waiting for the others to arrive Carl and his friend who said he was a healer suggested we go down to Carl’s basement where there was a massage table set-up for spinal flushes and time permitting some reiki. Greg and I felt safe enough and we didn’t know what either of those things were so we said yeah let’s do that. The spinal flush, which is a chiro thing, felt amazing and weird and didn’t paralyze me which when we were doing it I was certain was a distinct possibility. Next came the reiki. Carl said my energy was really difficult so he had the healer guy run doubles with him. Carl asked where I lived to which I said, Los Angeles because that’s where I lived at the time. Carl was polite but adamant that I MOVE AWAY from LA at once. He said that LA was killing me and that my energy was totally fucked. I was like whatever Carl. Later that night we rode past the seven pools where everyone got high and did yoga which also wasn’t a thing in 1996. Somewhere next to a cactus on some single track under a full moon that night I saw Carl do a no-handed bunny hop over a rock. It reminded me of how my mom transcendental meditated so hard that she was a Siddha. I guess the deal with Siddhas is that they can levitate, and with enough training, walk through walls and subsist on sunshine and water. I think we call that breatharian now. Anyway, I’m not saying Carl floated but that no handed bunnyhop was crazy smooth. I think a coyote howled it when it happened but I might be making that part up. Speaking of howling, as a practice it’s super therapeutic and instantly, profoundly gratifying like doing a rail but minus the coke.

    The Outside, Ultrathrash, The Algorithm

    THE OUTSIDE is here/hear for you. TO and only TO has Cardiogoth calibrated words of wisdom, encouragements, pointers, style advice, deep meditations on Crystals and Pistols, guidance, beta, weather hacks, tips on Joy Hoarding, etc. The list goes on. Furthermore, MSO is the only PSA-brand that has direct access to The Outside. You’ve heard of Ask The Doctor, Dear Abby and Yoda right? This is just like that but we’re offering you a direct line to the literal Outside. The choice is yours. Succumb to The Algorithm’s deep mediocrity or experience the quickening and daily rapture. Namaste.

    Hello, my name is Ultra Thrash. I am the original Cardiogoth, as such I have wisdoms, truths, knowings and fashion advice. Think of me as a soothsayer meets a clairvoyant meets a coach meets a Norse God meets Kokopelli meets a Biking Viking meets a legend meets a wizard meets a shapeshifting lizard-rat. Please let me help you unlock your potential. 

    Ask me anything about everything Cardio. I will give you advice for free. Stop coveting my kickflips skills from the shadows cast by your fears, and start learning how to throw down and land shit.

    Hey guys, welcome back to The Algorithm. Content, content, content. Don’t look away, you can’t look away, trust me I will make you famous. Let’s smash. YOU ARE SUBSCRIBED.

    Exorcize Hat

    $50

    I was overjoyed when I realized that exercise and exorcise were basically the same word minus a one letter difference. Also they sound basically the same when you say them outloud unless you’re super good at enunciation which nobody is. And then, even better, when I learned there was an acceptable alternative spelling with the “z” replacing the “s” in exorcize I was like, “daaaaamn r u kidding me this word just got even better because zees graphically speaking go super hard and this whole concept is, when you think about, which, dude, I’m always thinking about it, all about going hard.” Some people are well adjusted and that’s super good for them. I don’t know if that’s a nature thing or a nurture thing and tbh I’m not sure it matters if the net net is you’re NOT experiencing the world around you as vaguely hostile and largely inhospitable. I mean, the cognitive dissonance required just to get through lunch on any given day feels, for me, at times, insurmountable. Except, you know what, I can and do surmount it. You know why? Because it’s my civic responsibility, that’s why!!!! And because I’m curious—like, where is this thing headed, ya know. Like,I wanna see how this story ends. And also, I’m a hedonist. Like, I like feeling things and experiencing things and the world is, still, really good at providing experiences. Anyway that’s the why of it but what about the how of it. Me, personally, I need to exorcize through exercise. That’s 1000% HOW I do it. Over the years, I’ve been in so many casual conversations at parties or dinner or holiday gatherings when the topic of cycling and endurance sports comes up and I’m confronted with the presumption that endurance pursuits are about Type 1 Fun. Which, obviously I think they can be. AND DUDE, THAT’S GREAT IF THEY ARE FOR YOU. And dude, sometimes they are for me too! Yay!!!!! Buut but buuuuuuut buuutu butububuut buutub but, honestly, mostly, on the daily, for me it’s not about Type 1 Fun, it’s about thresholds, resetting, “casting out,” moving energy, zeroing out, centering, focus, pain, transformation, surging, comfort with discomfort, transcending the mundane, meditation, the sound of my heartbeat, sweating, tunnel vision, flow state, quieting the lizard, comforting the mammal, and turning the brain off. And so, if any of this sounds familiar, please buy this hat cause we made this hat for you.

    Proof that we made this hat for you.

    • We commemorated this concept that is near and dear to you and your mental health through art.
    • Thank you Sasyk Mihal.
    • We put it on a hat that’s made of a TECH material (UPF50+ Fabric) for Endurance Sports.
    • The hat provides shade for your eyes and protection for the rest of your beautiful and wonderful face from mercurial and/or tempestuous weather.
    • It has a TECH toggle for adjustment: Layer under it, have a big head, have a small head, wear it under a mode-specific helmet, wear it casually, whatever just wear it.
    • It’s not a cycling cap. It’s not a running cap. It’s not for baseball.
    • It’s in a category of its own called Endurance. It’s an Endurance Hat.

    Emma Pooley

    Olympian, World Champion and MSO Subject Athlete Emma Pooley talks to Mythical State Of’s Daniel Wakefield Pasley about ultra endurance, motivation, UTMB, and bikepacking in our first issue of Cardio Goths: Physical, Spiritual, Mental, and Emotional guidance for Subject Athletes.

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