One time in Sedona, Arizona in 1996 I went on a full moon ride with my friend Greg and a bunch locals but not our friend Rick who we left at camp because he hurt himself playing hackysack while we were getting ready to ride because he was too high and swept his own leg out from under himself. Anyway, we heard about the ride from some dude at a bike shop that we had visited early that day. The dude was like come to Carl’s house and be there by 10:00pm. We got to Carl’s early so while we were waiting for the others to arrive Carl and his friend who said he was a healer suggested we go down to Carl’s basement where there was a massage table set-up for spinal flushes and time permitting some reiki. Greg and I felt safe enough and we didn’t know what either of those things were so we said yeah let’s do that. The spinal flush, which is a chiro thing, felt amazing and weird and didn’t paralyze me which when we were doing it I was certain was a distinct possibility. Next came the reiki. Carl said my energy was really difficult so he had the healer guy run doubles with him. Carl asked where I lived to which I said, Los Angeles because that’s where I lived at the time. Carl was polite but adamant that I MOVE AWAY from LA at once. He said that LA was killing me and that my energy was totally fucked. I was like whatever Carl. Later that night we rode past the seven pools where everyone got high and did yoga which also wasn’t a thing in 1996. Somewhere next to a cactus on some single track under a full moon that night I saw Carl do a no-handed bunny hop over a rock. It reminded me of how my mom transcendental meditated so hard that she was a Siddha. I guess the deal with Siddhas is that they can levitate, and with enough training, walk through walls and subsist on sunshine and water. I think we call that breatharian now. Anyway, I’m not saying Carl floated but that no handed bunnyhop was crazy smooth. I think a coyote howled it when it happened but I might be making that part up. Speaking of howling, as a practice it’s super therapeutic and instantly, profoundly gratifying like doing a rail but minus the coke.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR ANALOG CAMO: “OUTSIDE inside”

1) You know us, we love moss naps and meadow sleeps. This is basically like a “Do Not Disturb” sign for those moments.
2) The textures, smells and colors of nature instill and promote Awe. Which is medically and spiritually good. *We’re not saying these Dyneema bags will be scratch n’ sniff capable, but we’re also not ruling it out. The tech is, for sure, almost there.
3) Avoid Alpha Predators while carrying equipment and gear.
4) We should all be riding for Nature. Rep your brand. Rep your crew. Rep Mother Earth.
5) Anti Algorithm principles are present in this collection.
6) Become one with the Earth. Sync up, sink in! 
7) Be an Outravert step one: Take the Outside inside. Be on the only person boarding a flight to Schipol carrying one of these bags.
8) Signal to the flora and fauna—you are just moving through, you come in peace. 
9) Good poetry is actually amazing. 
10) Your mamma.