I used to talk mad shit about bucket hats. They look stupid. They signal stupid. And but, like you, I’m willing, at times, to let irony inspire and guide my fit decisions, especially when the tech is legit regardless and/or in spite of the wack style. I’m thinking about the many forms of clearly medical-looking footwear that I love and covet and continue to run on the reg because they provide cloud tech. I’m thinking about how every time I shave (1-2 times a month), especially if it’s been a long time like four or five weeks since the last shave, I like to burn in a LolLapalooza grade goatee and wear it around the house for a day or two, weather depending, because mid 90’s grunge alpha larping gives joy. I’m thinking about bandanas in curious positions and playful shapes because flair is fun and attracts existential conversationalism while the bandana itself works to absorb sweat, beat down dust and provide various tactical field options in the face of mercurial and/or tempestuous weather. I’m thinking about my Ohio Dad In The Matrix sunglasses from Distract Vision that keep the steez in and the sun out. And, if it’s made in UL Dyneema fabric for heat retentions and sun protections, and comes with a detachable neck flap reminiscent of a 16th century samurai helmet, I’m also talking about an MSO bucket hat from the near future.

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