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Listen up. Have a seat back there! Put your Zwifter away, park your power meter for a sec. Shelve that aerodynamic helmet that’s gonna save you 1.5 seconds over 60K and give you an irreparable case of the hothead. The teching-out of this sport is absolutely killing it, which kills ME. It’s only one of the MANY culprits that needs addressing, I know, but we’re gonna get to the rest later. (If I’ve already lost you, plug back in and surf over to Training Peaks and sign up for a coachBOT.) If you’re still here, you gotta trust me and press reset.


Crunching numbers, charting KOMs, and banking watts is for the PROs (which you’ll never be), so stop marginally gaining except where it matters: up top. Your tippy top. The muscle between your ears. Only incremental knowledge gained by close observation, research, and rumination while pedaling an actual, physical, cyber-less, two-wheeler and practicing the old ways will get you to a truer understanding of this sport and thus enable you to be ANIMAL.


True illumination gained from the reverence and emulation of the greats leads to dedicated training and inspired racing. Learning what made the Cannibal, the Badger and the Gypsy the beasts they were, while applying their techniques yields maximal gains. Has anyone in the modern era come close to their achievements?


To truly become Animal takes dedication, neglect of actual, everyday concerns (specifically your family, civilian friends and job), and most importantly a total disregard for what the majority of your peers are doing at the amateur level. You gotta be bold! Take a stand. Maybe even take an outdated, unrealistic, improbable stand. That’s what I’m here to manifest as your COACH… I’m going to plant this mindset in you. Educate you. And finally elevate you.


Listen. There are a lotta good riders out there. You’ve got a lot of work to do, but one of these days… you’re gonna be ANIMAL, baby!

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