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Dear Tulsa Tough,

(Org, Racers, Fans, Randos and City Of)

 

We LOVE YOU! Seriously, your scene is one of the best scenes ever, racing or no racing. But DEF the racing which is basically the most exalted exhibition of Gladiators of the Road, WHOOSH, and American Crits that’s ever transpired on Earth. The physicality, the heat, the speed speed speed, and Cry Baby Hill! Every day for three days straight, Knife Fight after Knife Fight. And that’s just the racing! What about the crowds, the parties and the humidity? Because let’s be honest, while it’s for sure about the racing it’s also for sure about whatever happens when a tropical Burning Man and Coachella do sex on a humid night in the grass between the Porta Potties and the Arkansas. Which I tell you what happens, you get a baby, a cry baby. You get the crowd on Crowd on Cry Baby Hill, you get the citizens of an annual pilgrimage who gather together in the thousands to collectively writhe and heave on the muddy banks of West 13th Avenue.

“Point is: Tulsa Tough, you are, in every respect, 100% All-In DTF—if by F you mean go crazy hard at racing and spectacle. Which is what I meant! That’s what I meant.”

Speaking of racing and spectacle, that’s why Manual for Speed was invented. Ergo, therefore, à la, vis-à-vis, Manual for Speed, and subsequently AACK, was invented to celebrate Tulsa Tough and the thousands of Cry Baby Hill Pilgrims. To what degree? How much is MFS about TT and the CBHPs? 1000%. Wait, I mean, 100%. Speaking of which, you know who else is about speed and spectacle?, 100%.

You see where this is going, right?

In celebration of our celebration of TT and the thousands of CBHPs, we’re giving away two pairs of 100% Speedcrafts. And here’s what I have to say about that:

  1. Holy cow we’ve been trying to give away two brand new pairs of Speedcrafts since ATOK and the Giro. The fuck is wrong with you people? All I can think is that you think we’re joking? We’re not joking!!!!!!!!
  2. These glasses are insane, they work so good. They’re better than the glasses you currently have unless the glasses you currently have are also 100% Speedcrafts.
  3. Peter Sagan.
  4. Because 👶Cry Baby Hill 👶 is CLEARLY the hole from which this incredible weekend of racing issues forth, we’re giving both pairs away on Sunday. At the race. On the day. In the field.
  5. It may be merit based, it may be random, it may involve a contest or physical feat.
  6. 🚫👣But no physical feet. Jk jk jk, we love feet. Not like that. Okay maybe a little bit like that? Try me.
  7. We will accept solicitations, I’ll be the dude in 100% sunglasses.
  8. No nudity!!!!!!!! 🍆🍒 🍑 = 🙅‍♀️ 🙅‍♂️, 👕🧣👖= 👍👊
  9. No requirements to enter. Except, maybe, you should be alive at least. Probably. Not “probably alive.” I mean that will probably be a requirement. TBD.
  10. Actually, fuck it. If you want to bring a dead friend to the race and put him in a sweet outfit and position him into a keg stand in a kiddie pool filled with Jell-O, do it. Weekend at Bernies!!!!!!! That’s sooooooo 100%!!!!!!!!
  11. I’ll be looking for winners, you know who you are. Seriously, these glasses are made for speed and speed stuff.
  12. 🚨🛸😎 

 

2017 Cry Baby Hill Highlights