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Hello, my name is Daniel Wakefield Pasley. I am a mammal-eating plant-based Anthropologist, Activator and aspiring Deck Wizard. From Maryland. I am the voice of Mythical State Of. Websites are dead. Blogs are dead. This is a blog on a website. #skate-bikes-not-boards

2015 Cannondale-Garmin Pro Cycling Team Launch

Media, athletes, bike dealers and celebrities from around the world descended upon the world-renowned IAC building in NYC on January 7th for the launch, and now fans can join in on the excitement online.

The tape-delay of the presentation will allow fans from around the world to experience the energy of the team leading into the 2015 season. The online coverage will feature attendee arrivals, introductions, interviews with members of the 2015 Cannondale-Garmin Pro Cycling team, and the much-anticipated unveiling of the team’s official 2015 kit. Representing the 2015 team at the launch were: Andrew Talansky, Ben King, Dan Martin, Davide Formolo, Joe Dombrowski and Ted King; along with CEO Jonathan Vaughters.

“Tonight we have a mix of deep house with some pop in there. we’re keeping it fresh and modern. Some new takes on old classics, just like Cannondale.”

—DJ CYNTHIA LIU, spinning all night at the launch.

OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #1: "A DELICIOUS BIT OF MYSTERY."
"PLEASE TELL ME YOU REMEMBERED MY RED CARABINER...OH THANK GOD."
A FLASH OF UN-EXCITEMENT.
#NORMALCORE
"I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, HARRY POTTER. I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU. AFTER TONIGHT, NO ONE WILL EVER AGAIN QUESTION MY POWER. AFTER TONIGHT IF THEY SPEAK OF YOU, THEY’LL ONLY SPEAK OF HOW YOU BEGGED FOR DEATH. AND HOW I BEING A MERCIFUL LORD… OBLIGED."—LORD VOLDEMORT
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #2: "WOOOOO!"
#THRILLZ
"BEN! BEN! BEN, OVER HERE! OVER HERE!"
"PUT THE DYNAMITE AWAY BEN."
#ROSTERSELFIES
HI, SORRY, BUT YOU CAN'T PHOTOGRAPH THE JERSEY UNTIL THE PRESENTATION. "UHHH, I WORK AT CANNONDALE." OH, SORRY. MY B.
#MECHANISM
"DON WILDMAN (BORN MARCH 27, 1961) IS THE CURRENT HOST AND NARRATOR OF OFF LIMITS, MYSTERIES AT THE MUSEUM, AND MONUMENTAL MYSTERIES ON THE TRAVEL CHANNEL. HE ALSO HOSTED AND NARRATED WEIRD TRAVELS THAT FORMERLY AIRED ON THE TRAVEL CHANNEL."—WIKIPEDIA WILDMAN: "1. A PERSON WHO IS A CRAZY FUCK WHO DOES ANYTHING FOR THE RUSH. THIS PERSON CAN BE CALM ONE SECOND, THEN TURN "WILD" THE NEXT. YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK WITH THIS PERSON. "2. WHEN ONE TAKES AN OLD, RUSTED CAR (30S-70S) AND SLAMS THE PISS OUT OF IT ON RIMS. THIS CAN INCLUDE, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO MERCEDES BENZ, BMW, VW, DATSUN, AND TOYOTA. "I.E. 'DID YOU SEE THAT WILDMAN MERC? YEAH MAN, I LOVE SEEING RUSTY CARS DUST STREETS WITH THE FRAME.'"—URBANDICTIONARY.COM
#CONTRASTSTITCHING
THE LOOK THAT SAYS, "I JUST FARTED AND I AM GOING PUT IT ALL ON THIS WHITE HAIRED SAP"
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #3: "THEY TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL."
#DADCORE
WHO IS THE COMMANDER OF THIS SHIP? "HE IS."
THE ENGLISH WORD MANICURE IS DERIVED FROM THE FRENCH USAGE, MEANING "CARE OF THE HANDS", WHICH IN TURN ORIGINATES FROM THE LATIN WORDS MANUS, FOR "HAND", AND CURA, FOR "CARE".
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #4: "VICARIOUSLY DREAMING."
WHEN YOU GOT TO GO, YOUR FACE CAN'T HIDE IT. #CAUGHTINTHEACT
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #5: "PULLING WHEELIES FOR THE GIRLS."
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #6: "THE JOINING OF FORCES TO BUILD A FOUNDATION."
"I'VE BEEN ENJOYING A LOT OF DARK TECHNO LATELY."—DJ CYNTHIA LIU
#UNFAIRADVANTAGE
"GIVE ME JUST A MOMENT, I NEED TO SMELL THIS FIRST."
"A SPIRAL GALAXY IS A CERTAIN KIND OF GALAXY ORIGINALLY DESCRIBED BY EDWIN HUBBLE IN HIS 1936 WORK THE REALM OF THE NEBULAE AND, AS SUCH, FORMS PART OF THE HUBBLE SEQUENCE. SPIRAL GALAXIES CONSIST OF A FLAT, ROTATING DISC CONTAINING STARS, GAS AND DUST, AND A CENTRAL CONCENTRATION OF STARS KNOWN AS THE BULGE."—WIKIPEDIA
THE TWO FINGER CAPTURE TAP HAS BEEN PROVEN TO BE INCONSISTENT AND UNRELIABLE AS A SHUTTER ACTIVATION TECHNIQUE.
FOR VERTICALLY ORIENTED DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DEPEND ON ACTIVATING YOUR CAPTURE WITH THE THUMB OF YOUR DOMINANT HAND.
#SUPPORTOURDUDES
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #7: "WHAT LANGUAGE IS HE SPEAKING IN?"
HEY BUD, WATCHA LOOKIN AT?
INSTAGRAM LIKES - 12
INSTAGRAM LIKES - 22
APATHY, BOREDOM, AND DESPAIR
OVERHEARD AT LAUNCH #8: "I CAN UNDERSTAND HIM BETTER THAN DAN MARTIN."
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