A BRIEF LIST OF HIGHLIGHTS ON MY TRIP TO BRECKENRIDGE
- Organizing an interview with Dave Towle, from scratch, via text message, using intermittent service including but not limited to these providers/service types; AT&T 4G, AT&T 3G, OFF NETWORK, AT&T E, OO418-90, etc.
- A breakfast burrito from the Jefferson Market in Jefferson, Colorado. The proprietress was hard-selling her homemade green chile sauce with which she wanted to smother my burrito, she said her green chile-smothered breakfast burrito is the best around! I told her I couldn’t because I needed to eat the burrito in the back seat of a car. Then I asked if I could add bacon, and she said yeah, you can add bacon.
- The Motherlode Boutique in Buckskin Gulch is just east of Mosquito Gulch. Are there two different gulches or is it one gulch that changes names?
- Hoosier Pass was mostly a bust on account of the weather and the lack of spectators, which lack of spectators likely had to do with the weather, which like I said sucked, and the Colorado Police, who like we’ve said are the biggest dicks IN THE WORLD, but I did pee on a bush on the side of the road. And because it was raining and 45 degrees my pee steamed, a lot. So, that happened.
In Breckenridge we parked in the Media area. Speaking of sleep deprivation, I’m beginning to hate consciousness. I’m so bored of me and my brain and my thoughts, it’s like my brain is that dude at a party who follows you around and talks AT you about stupid shit like yoga , and so you keep handing him off to your friends but he keeps finding you, and talking to you about yoga some more, only in this case it’s my brain which is in my head and so I can’t just ditch it, not easily at least. The number of times I’ve used the word hate today: 87 . Sometimes I wear a bandana around my neck, when I’m bored or cold I pull it up over my mouth, bank robber-style. Maybe that’s why some dude at the finish shouted “Hey, Unabomber!!!” at me from across the street. We are staying at a Holiday Inn in Vail tonight. In the lobby there is sign that reads “50% off” in front of a sushi restaurant , because half of-off sushi in a Holiday Inn a thousand miles from the ocean on a mountain makes sense.
With the help of Team CLIF Bar (thanks Dylan, thanks Eric!!!) Manual for Speed was able to track down Dave Towle’s phone number. We sent him a text, he texted us back. Then he called us and we talked for about thirty minutes about World Tour Racing, American Criteriums, Human Athletes vs. Robot Athletes, and the unparalleled service he provides to literally billions of race fans every day. We also discussed the Art & Science of building, maintaining and keeping The Stoke by any means necessary, including the widespread, systematic use of superlatives and hyperbole. Sure he says some crazy shit and definitely the dude can be bombastic and cliché but whatever, he keeps the crowds excited and informed and he’s straight-up entertaining as in funny and ridiculous. So like, booyah son!!! Bring The Noise!!!!! Oh yeah, we also talked to him about sharing his favorite go-to expressions with Manual for Speed via a voicemail. Which he did.