Results for
2015 Tour de San Luis

Tour de San Luis: Día Seis

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Length: 117.5km KOMs: Balneario el Rincón, Cat 3 (104.4km), Mirador del Sol, Cat 1 (110.0km), Filo Sierras Comechingones, Cat 1 (117.5km) Sprints: Villa Larca (70.5km), Merlo (100.2km) Weather: What do you think?, it was hot again. Accommodations: Hotel Huarpes Rooms 128 & 132 Objectives: Figure out this race, and maybe Argentina.

Quote of the Day: “They’ve got good looking hammocks here.”—Keiran Best, Villa Larca

Today’s Letter to Editor: “#dearspeed @manualforspeed how does Emiliano keep his t shirts so white asking for @NatalieTapias” Great question! The answer is, he buys them in bulk and never wears one twice. They’re disposable! That way he stays looking sharp AND gives back to the community at the same time! #executive

Today’s Mark Cavendish Update: Manual for Speed had a moment yesterday to speak with Mark Cavendish about two things, one of which was related to the Time Trial. The first thing, the unrelated thing, was a simple locker room misunderstanding, #boyswillbeboys. Anyway, regarding the Time Trial, the answer is: NEITHER! He says he was waving “HELLO!”, but to some niños standing behind us, not us. Thank you for all of your votes!!!! Here are two of our favorite comments: A.) “def a hello hand. let’s be honest… he’s riding a road bike with tt bars screwed on. Plus, methinks he needs all the publicity he can get from down there. #sobering” B.) “My vote is it’s the don’t take my photo hand, since my sons asked Cav to sign their MashSF caps at the Amgen Tour of CA last May and he basically treated them like he treated that journalist the other day in Argentina. Also, in doing family history work I have found that I am directly related to the Manx Cavendish family, so we are cousins of some sort.”

Today’s Spectator Trick Tip: Find a hill, a long one, and stand on it. Otherwise you’re going to stand around on the side of a featureless freeway for three hours, in the hot sun, waving at mostly unrelated vehicles in a prolonged state of anticipation, for a 45 second reward (?), followed by an aggravated traffic situation. Then again if you’re a Picnic Pirate, and chances are that you are if you’re in Argentina, then #whatevs, it’s a nice day to watch the road, any road.

Today’s High-Point: “Riding Joe Dombrowski’s OFFICIAL RACE bike around the finish area.”—Emiliano Granado #peacocking 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
ARGENTINA DOES NOT SUCK

 

ARGENTINA DOES NOT SUCK

“Thank God for Magical Realism”

JANUARY 24, 2015

 

SAN LUIS/MIRADOR DEL SOL, MERLO, ARGENTINA: Manual for Speed is excited to announce that Argentina does not suck, only the metropolitan area of San Luis does. The idea began to form as early as the Mountain Top Finish of Etapa 2, followed by the Egyptian Walls in the mountains of Stage 4. And now, the Sierras of Comechingones! And what’s more, Joe Dombrowski thinks this race is hard, real hard, like readjust your expectations and assumptions hard.

Any race that has Egyptian Walls, a culture of personal responsibility, no traffic laws, the Sierras of Comechingones, and climbs enough to make Joe Dombro sweat is swell, just swell, as far as we’re concerned. And listen, we’re not taking anything back, everything we’ve said up until this point is still true, it’s just that the net-net, after yesterday’s Etapa 6, is Positive not Negative. For details and the science behind our new net-Positive attitude we’ve shown our work here (in the form of each individual factor paired with it’s total net-net (nN) score).

  1. Cousin’s Fiat: -2
  2. San Luis: -10
  3. Hotel Huarpes: -10
  4. Wifi: -137
  5. Hotel Huarpes Zumba: -10
  6. Lack of Vegetables/Food Diversity: -4
  7. Helado: + 5
  8. Vista Suites Spa & Golf work area: +4
  9. Los Robles: +9
  10. HACU Situation: -6
  11. Transfers: -10
  12. Culture of Personal Liability: +10
  13. Cortado Inconsistency: -1
  14. Stage 1: -5
  15. Stage 2: +1
  16. Stage 3: -8
  17. Stage 4: +2
  18. Stage 5: +3
  19. Stage 6: +456
  20. Total nN: +287

Oh and another thing: sure, the Tour Down Under has the internet, English (kinda), exceptional espresso experiences, Tubular Tommy and Co., AirBnB, fans, the Pacific Ocean, Farmers Union Iced Coffee and Post-Emergence Road Systems, but come on, what about the walls?, does it have walls? No, it does not.

 

TODAY’S OBSERVATIONS

  1. We are the only people who paid to be at this race. Everyone else: racers, team staff, media, they all had their major travel expenses comped by the race organization. We’re thinking about asking for our money back or for reimbursement. The thing is… we figure at best they offer us store credit, and that store credit, knowing how store credit goes, would likely expire at the end of this year, approximately 21 days before the 2016 Tour San Luis.
  2. The Rag (El Trapito) is an Argentine archetype!!!
  3. This race does not suck.
  4. This race has Magical Realism.
  5. This race has real mountains.
  6. The Falkland Islands, let’s talk about them. Based on the volume and ubiquitous nature of Las Malvinas-related banner/posters/flags/literature/slogans/etc. it’s clearly a BIG DEAL. Also, the messaging is state sponsored? Sorta like, “Hey, in case you forgot, the English STILL have the other National Treasure.” Dear Unbiased Historians and Socio-Political Professors, what’s up? What’s at stake here? Please illuminate us. The great Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges once said, “The Falklands thing was a fight between two bald men over a comb.”
  7. In Argentina, if you park on ANY incline AT ALL, you put a rock under your tire. Without exception.
  8. Manual for Speed is looking for information about why lines form at gas stations at night. Not just any kind of lines, we’re talking around-the-block and dozens of cars deep kinda lines. The kind of lines that require cones and attendants. The kind of lines that create community and spectacle. Event-sized lines. Based on our experience, they only happen at night. Please contact us with any and all information leading to an explanation.

 Tour de San Luis: Etapa Seis

THERE APPEARS TO BE VERY LITTLE IN THE WAY OF ENGLISH-LANGUAGE INFORMATION ON THE TOWN OF ACHIRAS, CORDOBA, ARGENTINA. HOWEVER, IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT ONE OF THE MOST PROMINENT PAGES ON ITS GOVERNMENTAL WEBSITE IS CICLOTURISMO.
"TUTUS, TIARAS, PRINCESS DRESSES AND STORYBOOKS SELLING “HAPPILY EVER AFTER” LINE THE CHILDREN’S AISLES AT EVERY MAJOR RETAILER. THE “FROZEN” SOUNDTRACK FROM THE LATEST DISNEY FANTASY STARRING TWO SISTER PRINCESSES, HAS TOPPED THE CHARTS FOR NEARLY THREE MONTHS. THE LITTLE MERMAID, SLEEPING BEAUTY, BELLE AND SNOW WHITE ARE BOUND TO COME CALLING AT YOUR DOOR ON HALLOWEEN. THE PRINCESS CULTURE — FUELED BY DISNEY’S MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR STAKE IN IT — HAS A TIGHT GRIP ON MAINSTREAM GIRLHOOD AND IT’S NOT GOING AWAY." TIPS FOR RAISING WELL-ROUNDED GIRLS IN A PRINCESS DOMINATED WORLD, PBS. PS: #STRANGERDANGER
RINALDO NOCENTINI AKA MFS' NEWEST BFF.
JURY-RIGGED #SELFIESTICKS > STORE-BOUGHT #SELFIESTICKS
#MECHANISM
THIS IS WHAT A CONFETTI CANNON LOOKS LIKE. NOW YOU KNOW.
THIS GUY AND HIS PARTNER/FRIEND/COLLEAGUE HAD THEIR SHOT RUINED BY A FEW MOTO PHOTOGRAPHERS WHO STOPPED IN THEIR FRAME. AS THE MOTOPHOTOS WERE WALKING AWAY, HE SCREAMED AT THEM "¡ME CAGASTE TODO BOLUDO!" TRANSLATION: "YOU FUCKED EVERYTHING UP YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"
#FRIEDLANDER
JAN 24, 2015: @TOMDANIELSON STARTED FOLLOWING @MANUALFORSPEED ON TWITTER.
MAXIMILIANO BLANCO, ARGENTINE PHOTOGRAPHER, HAS CAUGHT THE MFS #FANSIES BUG.
"HOLD ON, LET ME PUT ON MY JERSEY." "NOPE. THANKS!"
HIGH HEELS AND DIRT ROADS. #MATCHMADEINHEAVEN
RACING CLUB HAS WON THE PRIMERA DIVISIÓN 17 TIMES (WITH A RECORD 7 CONSECUTIVE CHAMPIONSHIPS BETWEEN 1913 AND 1919), APART FROM WINNING SEVERAL NATIONAL CUPS SUCH AS FIVE COPA IBARGUREN, FOUR COPA DE HONOR MUNICIPALIDAD DE BUENOS AIRES AND ONE COPA BECCAR VARELA. DUE TO THOSE ACHIEVEMENTS THE TEAM WAS NICKNAMED "LA ACADEMIA" ("THE ACADEMY OF FOOTBALL") WHICH STILL IDENTIFIES THE CLUB AND ITS SUPPORTERS.
HEY, UH, YOU KNOW YOUR #SEFLIESTICK IS OUT, RIGHT?
THE #PROS IN THE TOP LEFT WERE TRYING TO TELL A BUNCH OF #BOTTLEKIDS THAT THEY HAD NO MORE BOTTLES. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, BOTTLES ARE HUGELY IN DEMAND IN ARGENTINA. MAYBE THERE IS A BOTTLE SHORTAGE? IN ANY EVENT, SOMEONE WITH AN ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT SHOULD GET DOWN TO ARGENTINA WITH A LOT OF BOTTLES.
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