A CHRONOLOGICAL REPORT OF DÍA DOS’ EVENTS UNTIL THIS REPORT WAS FILED
12:15 PM: We’re at the Havanna Cafe in downtown San Luis just off of Pringle Plaza. Havanna Cafe with two ‘n’s translates in American to a combination Starbucks and See’s Candy. It’s maybe the one place in non-Buenos Aires Argentina that you can get acortado para llevar, they sell popular Gift Sweets and they are a chain. They also sell about a dozen variations of ham and cheese sandwiches. Sure everything on their breakfast and lunch menu starts with a description alluding to something different, something unique and exciting, but in the end it all comes down to jamon y queso. Cocido, cruda, it’s all ham. This is not unique to Havanna, this is everywhere in Argentina. As far as we can tell there about thirteen or fourteen different variations of Ham And Cheese Units (HACU) readily available around the country.
12:57 PM: Cortados—an espresso “cut” with a small amount of steamed/warm milk—come in all shapes and sizes. No two cortados are alike. Even within a single batch, say an order of tres cortados grandes for the table, there is often a great deal of variation in the type and size of glass and/or mug the cortado is served in; as well as milkiness, foam, volume, color, etc. Unlike their North American cousins the mocha and the latte, cortados do not adhere to a strict doctrine of discipline wherein consistency and repeatability are paramount. They are wild and elusive, and sometimes they come with coffee grounds in the bottom of the glass.
1:35 PM: In the car on the way to the town of La Punta: “If you think about it, a lot of the time professional cyclists are on some kinda white collar criminal mobile house arrest. They travel around the world often visiting highly desirable top-tier destinations, staying the whole time in nice if not baller hotels, which, for the majority of their time in any one place, they can’t leave. And while they’re not required, physically-speaking, to wear an ankle bracelet, if they did, theirs would beep loudly every time they took more than 36 steps in a row or ate 100 calories too many an hour.”
2:45 PM: Everybody, regardless of geographic, cultural, religious, sexual or any other orientation, loves doing a River Charge to a 180 E-brake Slide in a rental car. Everybody.
3:35 PM: “Are these towns coming or going?, like, are they in a period of decline and neglect, or is this what revival and renewal looks like in the town of El Durazno?”
4:09 PM: In Argentina dogs own themselves. In this, a post-ownership world, they come and go at will. Mostly though they just sleep on stairs, they LOVE stairs.
4:11 PM: We had big plans for the Water Feature from earlier today—the one we bossed to the delight of all—as the original route took the riders back through it (in the opposite direction) after Lake Florida. We were so excited!!! about the prospect of photoshooting the Peloton splashing through it that we based most of the second half of our day entirely around the concept. IMAGINE THAT SPLASH!!!!!!, then they changed the course, DEAR RACE ORGANIZERS NOT COOL, we did not agree to this, we did not sign up for this.
5:09 PM: Dear Thick Babes, if you feel like you are super under-appreciated where you live, like in America for example, relocate to Argentina immediately. Don’t even bother to pack because all you need down here is a bikini bottom, a pair of jeans, and a handful of tee-shirts—and they sell all that shit here anyway, probs in better colors and styles than what you got. Seriously stop wasting time and bring that badonkadonk down here!
5:33 PM: While photoshooting the Peloton racing through a Toll Booth, Emiliano met and befriended a Doctor who owns and operates a motorcycle. The Doctor was curious why Emiliano, a badge wearing and fully credentialed photographer, was not on a moto. Emiliano explained that the process was a little bit involved and tedious, and that we didn’t know a licensed/certified driver. The Doctor explained that he would be happy to do it. Emiliano asked what about registering you and your motorcycle, the Doctor said, “What, what are they going to do or ask or check?” Phone numbers were exchanged, plans were outlined.
6:35 PM: Como se dice, “Please no thumbs up?”
6:45 PM: On the way up the mountain we pass many men carrying colorful commercial-type coolers on shoulder straps—Ice Cream Sherpas.
6:57 PM: At first glance the hey can I have a water bottle gesture is easily misinterpreted as an homage or reference to the Shake Weight.
110:47 PM: If you’re in a bad mood or sad or just looking for a pick-me-up, ask Siri to say the name of this street: Chacabuco.
11:45 PM: We changed the right rear tire on our rental car in less than eight minutes.