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Syd 2 Mel Normcore Bicycle Tour Day 00

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A Brief Timeline of our Prep-Day Highlights in Bondi Beach


  1. 10:30am: Arrive at our hotel (more on that in a bit) which hotel was literally ON. THE. BEACH. Roll our padded Normcore bikes up to our rooms. Thanks, Biknd Jetpack, for the wonderful and life affirming post-cardboard travel experience, and for allowing us to feel like fully capable adults. This must be what a savings account or a 401k feels like!
  2. 11:15am: Continue charging our old (Mike Cherney!) amulets, begin charging our new (Thomas Nohlin!) amulets.
  3. 11:17am: Discover Kevin Frank’s 18 year old HOT COP BOD.
  4. 12:30pm: Lunch at Speedos Cafe.
  5. 1:45pm: Hit up the surf shack next to the beach to rent us some boards.
  6. 2:15pm: Come back to the hotel get our togs on.
  7. 3:30pm: Green Room sesh.
  8. 5:00pm: Kyle and Franks travel to outer Sydney to get our bikes.
  9. 7:00pm: Party shirts and dinner!


Points of Interest & Objectives


Day 00


  1. Hit the green room at Bondi.
  2. Take in the local cuisine.
  3. Prep for the big ride.
Communication is a KEY component to an effective and efficient investigation of a culture. In order to 1) understand what people are saying, 2) fit in, 3) keep your foot out of your mouth [E.g. you won’t make the mistake of telling your wife you’re looking forward to sharing a coupla' sluzzas with friends after dinner because you assumed a sluzza was a mixed ice drink not unlike a blended margarita], and 4) demonstrate respect via a willingness and excitement to learn, Yonder Journal collaborated with a team of Australian Linguists and Cultural Anthropologists to create an interactive glossary module of common expressions. Especially those which we’d be likely to hear and/or use in the context of a Normcore Bicycle Tour in the Australian In-and-Outback.

Day 00 Glossary


TRADIE: tradesman or blue collar worker, e.g. plumbers, electricians, construction workers.
Pronunciation & Example (opens in new tab)


TOGS: short pants, e.g. boardshorts or rugby shorts.
Pronunciation & Example (opens in new tab)


Bondi Beach Chilling


We did some research and apparently Americans on vacation in the South Pacific spend a great deal of time & money on sunburns, smoothies and surfing!!!!!!!!!!!!! With that in mind, as well as the need time to acclimate to the Future and the Southern Hemisphere and because, of course, you can’t come to Australia without spending some quality time in the Green Room, we scheduled a day and a night in one of Sydney’s more popular beach town suburbs, Bondi Beach.

A room with a view. Sorry E.M. Forrester, but as far as we can tell Australia is #tooeasy to echo any level of Edwardian repression.
Amulet X Amulet. Be sure to charge them up before heading out, yah rippers.
"You can't throw a dead stick around here without hitting a sheila."—Anonymous Surf Bro
Basically this is the Aussie version of Sean Connery during his encore performance as James Bond after he stepped back into the role because Roger Moore was making a mockery of the franchise.
Kooked it!
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