Germany is known around the world for three things:
- Bad Techno Music
Now, some might argue that there are other things out there but guess what? We took a poll and the poll said the top three consists of precision, beer and bad techno music. And polls can’t lie.
Precision runs through all aspects of German life; it’s easily identified in their factories, automobiles and machinery. Beer?, they love the stuff: steins and beer halls, Oktoberfest and weekends, weekdays, mornings, nights, afternoons, church, sports, school events, etc. all of our research tells us—unequivocally—that Germans love beer. And it is the Germans who have unleashed the unstoppable crusade of Bad Techno upon the world, drilling our ears and our emotions with an seemingly never-ending amount of high-energy and high-tempo syncopated BPM.
Yet it takes something special to see all three of these disparate and incongruent characteristics in one place. Thankfully, the world has been blessed with the Tour de France.
“Here, amongst the narrow roads of The Alps and The Pyrenees, lured by the acrid smell of burning muscle, of body salt, of pain and exertion as well as the promise of a captive audience, the chance to gyrate on live international TV, the sheer joy of unquestioned exhibitionism that we find our Hansel and Gretel, our Germans.”
They are magnificent in appearance, displaying deep amaretto tans, a seal-esque lack of body hair, and the robust musculature of lapsed CrossFitters.