Pro Host Housing: Phil Gaimon’s Pad!
Somewhere, Athens, GA
Hey Phil Gaimon, Manual for Speed here. Can you tell us why letting dudes stay at your house for Athens is the right thing to do? Like, why are you providing host housing? Wait—you are aware that Champ-Sys dudes were staying at your house, right? Like I don’t want to get those guys in trouble but…I’m pretty sure we were in your house taking photographs of those dudes like just the other day. Anyway, as much as you care to share about why host housing matters, and why you as a pro, are doing this, even though it’s like wear and tear on your joint.
Wear and tear? Wear and fucking tear? If there is one bent blade of grass in my yard, the next one will be watered with the blood of isaac howe.
“I’ve had some folks crash for free, but the truth is that this team is staying for a month, so they are paying some rent. The house is a long story. I was planning to live there, but that didn’t happen. Then I tried to get it rented out to some upstanding, tax paying citizens. Still working on that, but in the meantime, I love having bike racers stay over. I stayed with a lot of strangers over the years, so I have plenty of couch surf karma to balance out. I know how hard it is to live on the road and sprint for gas money, and it’s proven that living at my house gives you 50 watts.”
THE OFFICIAL MANUAL FOR SPEED HOMESTAY CHILLING AND ROSWELL ROADTRIP PLAYLIST
- Dornik – Something About You
- Frank Ocean – Swim Good
- E-40 feat. YG, IamSu & Problem – Function
- B.o.B. feat. 2 Chainz – Underground Luxury Headband
- Danny Brown – Handstand (Old)
- Future feat. T.I. – Magic (Remix)
- Shy Girls – Without
- Studio feat. BJ The Chicago Kid – Schoolboy Q
- SALEM – Trapdoor
- A$AP Rocky feat. Schoolboy Q – PMW (All I Really Need)
- French Montana feat. Rick Ross, Drake & Lil Wayne – Pop That
- Miguel – Sure Thing
ARCHAEOLOGY IS THE STUDY OF HUMAN ACTIVITY IN THE PAST, PRIMARILY THROUGH THE RECOVERY AND ANALYSIS OF THE MATERIAL CULTURE AND ENVIRONMENTAL DATA THAT THEY HAVE LEFT BEHIND, WHICH INCLUDES ARTIFACTS, ARCHITECTURE, BIOFACTS (ALSO KNOWN AS ECO-FACTS) AND CULTURAL LANDSCAPES—TRASH.
BESPOKE SPEAKERS BY #GINGERCHILLING. SLIDE AN EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLL ONTO THE END OF YOUR IPHONE OR SMART PHONE, BE SURE TO COVER THE "SPEAKER AREA." NOW ENJOY FULLY AMPLIFIED MUSIC FEATURING INCREASED VOLUME AND FIDELITY. #CRITLIFE
AT FIRST GLANCE WE THOUGHT THE WORD CONNOR WAS WRITTEN ACROSS THE TOP OF THESE BEDROOM SLIPPERS. AND SINCE WE WERE IN CONOR (WE THINK!, MAYBE IT WAS KEVIN, WHO KNOWS) MULLERVY'S BEDROOM THAT WOULD HAVE MADE A MODICUM OF SENSE. EXCEPT, THAT ALSO WOULD HAVE MEANT THAT CONOR WAS WEARING MONOGRAMMED BEDROOM SLIPPERS, WHICH MONOGRAMMED BEDROOM SLIPPERS WOULD HAVE RAISED ALL KINDS OF ADDITIONAL POTENTIALLY UNCOMFORTABLE/EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS. AS IT TURNS OUT, THOSE BEDROOM SLIPPERS ACTUALLY HAVE THE WORDS CONRAD WRITTEN ACROSS THE TOP. WHICH MEANS THEY WERE LIKELY STOLEN FROM A HILTON CONRAD RESORT, WHICH IS A CHAIN OF HOTELS LOCATED THROUGHOUT AMERICA. WHICH DEDUCTIVE REASONING SUGGESTS IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE AS PROFESSIONAL RACERS SPEND ROUGHLY 89% OF THE YEAR IN STRANGE BEDS AND BEDROOMS.
(FROM L TO R) KEVIN MULLERVY, GINGER MOM, GINGER DAD, CONOR MULLERVY. MOMENTS AFTER THIS PHOTOGRAPH WAS TAKEN GINGER MOM STARTED SHOUTING IN THE DIRECTION OF TINO ALZATE'S BEDROOM AND IN A THICK NEW YORK ACCENT: "WHERE'S TINO!?!?!??! TINO IS SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME A MULLET TODAY, HE WAS GONNA CUT MY HAIR AND GIVE ME A MULLET. I WANT TO GO BACK TO DENVER WITH A MULLET, IS THAT SO HARD, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???!!!."
TEAM EXERGY (R.I.P.) SMITH OPTIC ISSUE BACKPACKS. HEY GINGER 2, NICE WORK WITH THE DUCT TAPE PRODUCT DISPLACEMENT.
(FROM L TO R) PRO CYCLING ON $10 A DAY FROM FAT KID TO EURO PRO BY PHIL GAIMON, PRO CYCLING ON $10 A DAY FROM FAT KID TO EURO PRO BY PHIL GAIMON, PRO CYCLING ON $10 A DAY FROM FAT KID TO EURO PRO BY PHIL GAIMON, PRO CYCLING ON $10 A DAY FROM FAT KID TO EURO PRO BY PHIL GAIMON
Crit Cribz: Athens, Georgia
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