Results for

2018 UCI Worlds: Elite Women's Road Race

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Ambras Castle FAN ZONE


Lap One
Steve kept saying his PMA—aka STOKE LEVEL—was suboptimal, as in maybe 2 out of 10 at best. But this photograph tells a different story. This was taken moments after he completed a wee in the magically-lit Centaur Woods and I’ll be a Silly Susan if he isn't positively beaming with joy.
Manual for Speed will pay 500 dollars for any information related to the capture of this man’s kit. If you know this Legend and can put us in contact with him and/or if you know where to find his next-level steezy AF get-up for purchase, we will give you $500 dollars—no questions asked.
Hey Hungary, save some style for the rest of us! You can’t have all the track suits and one-hour-photo creep shoes. PS: for reals though, what’s in the cooler?
If you’re shaving your legs before the big game when the big game is the 2018 UCI Women's Elite Road Race, are you lite-LARPing?
Steve, trying to make sense of the of Belgian Apocalyptic Tin Man. [See below.]
Polish Corner was LEGIT. Great vibes. Taylor Phinney was in there running full emotional and cosmic support for Kasia Niewiadoma. I was walking by when someone grabbed me from behind and it was Taylor and I was like DUDE, IT’S YOU HOW ARE YOU? And then Steve walked up and we all caught-up for a second. We promised to come back and take photos and do some Gram stories and but then when we returned he was gone. I asked him about it later and he said he got lost. Classic Taylor. Anyway, the scene over there was tight.
Mapei: still the best kit ever made ever. JUST LOOK AT THIS HAT. Never gets old.


Ambras Castle FAN ZONE


Lap Two
Dear Dude in Denim Shorts: You were a highlight for me. I’ll be honest, this UCI crowd is not the best Sex Party spectacle but you’re a gem. A) You look great—great tan, great shoes, tasteful sunglasses, nice hair, a total package deal, and B) you’re good at lounging—great posture, rakish squint. Basically you're killing it.
Is this a cuddle puddle? Was this organized? Was this synchronized? Is this a cult thing? I never seen a pile of sleeping dudes before. It’s cute, it reminds me of puppies if puppies could house a case of Stiegl before noon on a sunny Saturday afternoon.
This OG probs started running side hat game for strategic reasons related to the relationship between his bod and the sun. But when it works it works, and at some point it clearly started working for him on this whole other level too, it started doing double duty. Practicality AND Steezicality.
Two of the best kits I’ve seen in FOREVER. I’m really loving this NASCAR vibe.
And this is what you see when you look up the word “rad” in the dictionary. There’s just a picture of this kit and a picture of Mark Gonzales kick-flipping the Embarcadero gap.
This little Italian enclave here was doing it right the whole time. Solid crew.


Ambras Castle FAN ZONE


Lap Three
I know modern art sculpture shit when I see it.




Thanks for your submissions!

Yesterday we gave our ‘Gram followers a challenge:


“CONTE$T!!!!!!!!🤑🤑 Use six of these nine letters painted on the 2018 UCI world Champ circuit next to Fan Zone #1, to spell something interesting. One SIX LETTER word, any word, about anything. Noun, proper noun, verb, adjective, place name, whatever. Just something interesting. To be clear you have:

  • GO
  • ETY
  • LU
  • AM

“Put that word in a sentence about the 2018 UCI world championships. Send us the sentence. The best sentence (our favorite) wins a set of Bar Tape.”


Here’s what you all came up with!


“Riders gonna need some ice cold GELATO to put on their bums after they’re done with that Innsbruck course!”



“The peloton sobbed as they heard the words ‘Sagan Wins’, now for the forth year in a row, hit hard like a EULOGY.”


“World Wide Worlds LET YOU AM and you know it!!!”


“Fingers crossed that Sagan is in top form for a 4th 🌈 and puts the MALLET ⚒ down!”


“The hill people are a MOTLEY crew driven by partial nudity and outdoor toilet use, cycling events give cover for their obsession.”


“Clutching the dark magic-infused AMULET, Sagan emitted a string of ancient chants and whispered, ‘Make me a climber.'”


“The crowds looked on in awe, MUTELY as the peloton GAMELY scrambled up the closing climb of the world’s circuit.”


“The world championships road course features a brutal amount of climbing, making it less favorable for a Sagan repeat. The climbers will be chasing a 🌈 colored MULETA on their way to the finish in Innsbruck. 🏅🏅🏅”


“Hidden motors TOGGLE on, Sagan still wins.”


“The LAYOUT of the letters in this post was confusing until I read the caption.”


“The best moustache in the peloton is surely from T(Y)AGO Machado from Portugal!!! 🇵🇹 @tiagomachado85 🕺🏻😂”


“Just a GOATEY ⛰🐐 will manage to win on this course in Innsbruck”




“My MULATTA told me that I could not go to see the final and he took me to buy shoes. 😭😂”


“After many years of cycling, I went from having no ass to being super GLUETY. 🍑🍑🍑”


“Froome looks like GOLLUM and isn’t here.”


“MUGATU is the fucking GOAT, fuck the UCI.”


“Power OUTAGE for Alaphilippe, Sagan kicks on the generators to take victory in Innsbruck.”


“Fourth straight 🌈 for LEGOAT, Pedo Sagan.”

Winner announced soon—submit your entry on ‘Gram:


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