Stage 13 High Points & Low Points
by The Eagle
Watching the lanky, 6’5” 160 lb Micky Schar (tallest dude in the race) bridging across to the early break and surviving out front longer than all the shrimps. I always cheer for the freaky tall dudes out there—our boy Taylor Phinney even mixed it up in the finale and took a nice 10th place on the day, not that I give a shit about 10th places.
Darwin Atapuma riding to control the break. You gotta think the big-uns over at Groupama-FdJ who were put on the front to bring back the break had quite a chuckle when UAE sent the diminutive 5’6” 130lb Colombian climber to the front to “help” them with 95k to go.
Philippe Gilbert gambling that the roundabout with 300 meters to go might just be sketchy enough to confuse the sprinters. You def guessed wrong Phil, but your last second flyer pulled my pulse just above flatline where it had been sitting most of the day.
Chris Froome barking for Michal Kwiatkowski to shift over and take the wind for him and Kwiato refusing to move from his spot with Geraint Thomas glued to his wheel. After another Polish shake of the head, Froome reluctantly moved across the group and slid in between them. Seems a tiny misunderstanding, but anytime a domestique (granted a former world champion domestique) tells the fella who has won four TdFs to come to his wheel rather than moving over where he’s asked to go, my ears prick up… Can you tell I’m dying for the soap opera to start?!
On paper, and in sporting reality, the most boring stage in this year’s Tour is now relegated to the history books. Tomorrow’s Stage 14 finishes on a punchy little hill that should be more inspiring to the breakaway.
Whelp, if yesterday’s stage was a doozy, today’s sure was a snooooozzyyy. I don’t know about y’all, but I could do with having those two hours of my life back. Today was castles, water towers, and yacht clubs. Also, non-stop cliff-wall heli shots. Just, SO many.
Sitting through an Aussie TV package on disc brakes in the peloton.
Thomas De Gendt pulling outta the break w 25k to go and a 30 sec gap to the peloton. It kinda hurt my soul to see my man throw in the towel. Dude is a hoss, and for him to pull out tells me the conversation up in the break musta been about disc vs rim brakes or something equally asinine.
Geraint Thomas’ bright yellow podium tennis shoes. Gross. At least they don’t say Livestrong on them.
Selected Stage 13 Broadcast Quotes
by The Eagle
“You’d hardly recognize him. Geraint Thomas was twice the man he is now. Cuz he was a BIG lad.”
—Robbie McEwan remarking on Thomas’ evolution as a GC contender from his Tour debut w Barloworld in 2007. Guess losing 20-25 lbs pays off when uphillin’.
“He’s all leg, Micky Schar, he hardly has a TOR-so. There’s just a small connection between his legs and his arms. He sits so high???!!”
—Aussie commentator Matt Keenan remarking on Michael Schar’s string bean physique.
“Well today, huh huh this stage was uhhh, like piece of gold for us, I think.”
—Peter Sagan’s winner interview. The man’s voice is so oddly charming, it’s almost worth the castles and yachts we had to endure all day to see him smirk and talk about pieces of gold after winning his third stage. ALMOST.
Côte de Humid Snake Ditch
MFS TDF STREET TEAM x 100%
We don't just talk about hill people and ditch monkeys, we BECOME them.