Results for
2017 Tour de California

Tour de California: Stage 05

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Distance 125.5km Number of Steps N/A Time of Filing 1:04 AM


Best Western Big Bear Chateau: The only thing you need to know is that there is a giant wardrobe in our room. Yes, this is a Best Western, but nonetheless there is an eight foot tall mirror-fronted wardrobe in the center of the room. Also, a fireplace. My years of Best Western experience tells me that both of these things are WAY out of place. LIKE, WAY. But they’re here, and later tonight I plan on stepping into the wardrobe and having a bitchin’ Christian/Monotheistic Metaphor Journey or getting melted by a ghoul or just sleeping. I am hoping, deeply hoping, for option three. You’ll have to tune in tomorrow to see what happens. Although really, if options one or two happen then I am probably not going to be able to give you an update. But if three goes down, well, we’ll see you tomorrow.

Today’s Objectives

I parked the car in a hotel parking lot adjacent to the start because we were light late getting to the start. There are maybe 50 signs posted making it clear that if you aren’t a guest at the Shabazz Hotel or whatever that your car will be towed. Well, having my car towed would have been SUCH a bummer. So one objective was to make sure that my/our/Enterprise’s car wasn’t towed.

Live to see tomorrow. Seriously buds, it’s currently 12:38 am and for every minute that passes I get more and more convinced that our hotel room is haunted. I didn’t start out the day this way. In fact, if you had asked me what I thought our room would be like tonight, I would have described the same room that I have stayed in for the last four nights. Not the Post-Modern Horror Hole that we’ve found ourselves in.

Discuss fishing with Ian. Turns out Ian Boswell is Rad and he knows how to fish.
Buy A-Clips for the step and repeat that we’ll have in action in Pasadena. If you weren’t planning on attending the final stage, well, now you have a reason. We bought the A-clips, they were 3s which means they’re clown shoe huge, but that’s all the Samy’s Camera in East Pasadena had in stock. I guess they hate function and convenience. Still, despite their best efforts, we got clipped.

Meet Cole Maness and his daughter Shane for breakfast at the Urth Caffe. Cole, if you don’t already know, is a top tier human and well, his daughter is unreal cute and Urth Cafe is 100% fine.

WIFI Details The wifi here is the equivalent of the refrigerator in your second apartment out of high school. It works. Lets just say it works.

Weather I am not sick of the sun.





"I could do that!" Fig. 01
"I could do that!" Fig. 02
"I could do that!" Fig. 03
"I could do that!" Fig. 04
"I could do that!" Fig. 05
"I could do that!" Fig. 06
"I could do that!" Fig. 07
"I could do that!" Fig. 08
"Why are you letting these creepers hang about?"

Tao Geoghegan Hart to Hannah Barnes, after the race when he noticed we’d been palin’ around.


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