Results for
2017 Tour de California

Tour de California: Stage 01

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Distance 70 km (Women’s 04) / 167 km (Men’s 01) Number of Steps 14729 steps or 8.1 Miles. Time of Filing 12:01 am, 1:05 am with modifications


SpringHill Suites by Marriott Modesto – Hey we’re in Modesto, and we’re going to be here all night. If you want to go back in time and hang with us we’re in room 212. It’s a SUITE. Meaning we have two beds, a desk, and a couch. It’s the couch the makes this room SUITE, it has to be. We’ve had other rooms with two beds and a desk but no couch, and they are def not suite. Anyway come to visit, and while you’re on the way scoop up a couple mini-bottles of Barefoot Merlot in the lobby. It’s not good, but it’s something. On aggregate, we’ve probably spent like three minutes outside in Modesto, and I think even that’s pretty generous, so I shouldn’t be trusted to give you an accurate account of the place. What I can say is that it is sunny; not clear-sunny, but more of a dusty-sunny or a parchment-paper-sunny. Also Modesto, in spite of an aggressively wet winter, is still very very tan.

Today’s Objectives 

Go to the race, watch the race, record the race, survive the race. ✓

Get our creds, car stickers, and race bible. Up and comers take note: even though you’ve been registered and you’ve received notice from this Bart character–who could be AI–confirming that you indeed have all of your credentials and that everything is COOL, trust us when we tell you everything is not always COOL. Bart can be like your cousin or your friend’s little brother or that kid from down the street who just wants everyone to like him so they tell everyone exactly what they want to hear: “Yo, you want creds? I got creds bro, for you anything, let’s hang.” And you’re like, “Yeah, things are cool, Bart’s cool I guess. Things are under control.” So you let your guard down and agree to hang (agreeing to hang=thinking you’re set with creds, stay up). You head to Bart’s house and he’s not answering the door or your texts. Or maybe he does but you have to wait around outside for a long time and when you do get to hang it’s in some weird unfinished root cellar or in one of those tin sheds painted to look like a barn but is actually so rusted that the only thing holding it together is a cat’s cradle of Black Widow webs. Brass tacks, you shouldn’t expect to hang with Bart to be easy or fun. We sure don’t. But you know what? Sometimes Bart is just WAAAY cool. And today was one of those sometimes. We got our badges, our car sticker, and our race bible without needing to resort to persuasion or coercion. ✓+

Check out the Michelob Ultra VIP lounge where we have been invited to enjoy the privilege and luxury of the elites. We got these passes and they entitled us to some VIP hangs, but you know what? There wasn’t time to enjoy them; we’re working on media, we kinda need to cover the race. While we wanted to enjoy the myriad fruits of the VIP lounge: ungoverned access to free Michelob Ultras, free colas, free wine, free tacos, and most of all the chance to rub shoulders with the other VIPs, we couldn’t, we didn’t have the time. It’s a race, the athletes are literally trying to get it over as fast as possible. The truth is that time is the ultimate luxury, and we don’t have that privilege. X

WIFI Details 📡

I am currently listening to music (“Giant” by The The off of their album Soul Mining if you want specifics) and Daniel is hard at work editing images on the other side of the half-wall that divides our SUITE. Last I checked, he was having a difficult time accessing the SpringHill’s free WIFI. But if you’re reading this, well then that obstacle has been overcome. As for streaming music? Aces.


Sacramento hit a high of 73 degrees today. !!!!!❗!!!. !!!!❗!!!. !!❗❗!!!!!. Which, if you’re us, then you would know that this is a heavenly temperature! Our hometown of Portland has yet to emerge from the depths of its second wettest winter in 75 years. Sunburnt? I prefer sunkissed.




  • Ian Boswell is proud to be an American. In fact, it comes up a lot for him in various interviews around the internet. It’s clearly something that’s on his mind.
  • He is Team Sky’s GC for the 2017 TdC. Or he’s “one” of Team Sky’s GCs for the 2017 TdC. He was a little bit vague on the matter.
  • Whatever, in our hearts and minds he’s our GC for the 2017 TdC regardless.
  • He’s GC, he’s American on a British Team, California is mostly in America, we American (for the time being), clearly we needed to focus on Ian over the course of this race.
  • Working in partnership with Team Sky and Castelli, we’ve set-up a series of interviews with Ian at the start of each Stage of the 2017 TdC.
  • The theme: What is it like to be an American athlete on British Team competing in a Eurocentric sport?


"That Starbucks had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of its shoe."

Daniel on the Starbucks at I-5 mile marker 481, just north of Stockton.


"Seems like these days if you don’t have the Mexican champion on your team, you’re going nowhere."

Dave Towle

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