2015 Tour of Yorkshire: Stage 02

FORTY-NINE YORKSHIRE PHRASES

This is a guide to the forty-nine (key) words & phrases you’ll need to pronounce correctly if you’re planning on photographing a bike race in Yorkshire County, UK. This applies to all of the Ridings. The word Riding is derived from a Danish word ‘thridding’, meaning a third. The invading Danes called representatives from each Thridding to a Thing (parliament) and established the Ridings System. To this day, Yorkshire consists of a North, East and West Riding, along with the City of York, and that’s why there is no fourth, or South, Riding; except, of course, in a novel of that name. This Pronunciation Guide, produced by Daniel Ostanekfor Manual for Speed, was created to foster and facilitate positive and effective intercourse between Americans and the natives of Northern England.

For the Record, Daniel is from Wales. Wales (pronounced whales), a country on the Island of Great Britain, lies in the north temperate zone and has a changeable maritime climate. Its highest peak is Snowdon. Everything else you need to know about Wales can be found in the BBC TV miniseries Hinterland, a noir crime drama set in Aberystwyth, Wales, in which the troubled-but-intense DCI Tom Mathias searches for redemption and sometimes solves hate crimes. Even though Wales is not part of Yorkshire we asked Daniel to help create a Pronunciation Guide for us because we drove him around for three days and didn’t ask him for gas money. Initially Daniel was concerned that because his accent is supposedly nothing like an actual Yorkshire accent, perhaps he was ill suited to the task. Manual for Speed assured him that his accent would be fine because Americans won’t know the difference anyway. And besides, we said, just fake it. He said he would be happy to fake it for this exercise, however, he was insistent that we made it clear this was our idea, and that’s he under no illusions his fake Yorkshire accent is a good one. And we said yeah sure whatever we can tell the world all that no problem. To mitigate any possible confusion, and for the sake of accuracy, and in the spirit of the word Guide, we’ve also published a non-MFS commissioned video featuring a young woman from Yorkshire demonstrating the proper way to pronounce the Yorkshire accent.

Local Slang

Bog: a toilet.
Bonce: your head!
Brilliant: brilliant, but like, extra brilliant.
Butty: a sandwich.
Chuddy: chewing gum.
Guff: a fart.
Ey up: how are you?

Important People and Places

Bradford: near Leeds.
Bridlington: Start of Stage 01.
Cote de Dalby Forest: featured in Stage 01.
Cote de Fimber: featured in Stage 02.
Cote de Goose Eye: featured in Stage 03.
Cote de Grosmont: Featured in Stage 01.
Halifax: near Bradford.
Harry Potter: a young wizard.
Holmfirth: near Scapegoat Hill.
Leeds: finish of Stage 03.
Cote de North Newbald: featured in Stage 02.
Cote de Scapegoat Hill: featured in Stage 03.
Scarborough: finish of Stage 01.
Selby: start of Stage 02.
Professor Snape: Harry’s hardass potions teacher.
Wakefield: start of Stage 03.
Market Weighton: near Cote de North Newbald.
Wetwang: featured in Stage 02.
York: finish of Stage 02.
North York Moors: National Park, featured in Stage 01.

Key Phrases

Excuse me, is this the way to the York Bird of Prey Center?
Where’s the bathroom?
No thanks, I don’t eat beans and mushrooms at breakfast.
Do you have a MacBook Pro charger I could borrow?
Would you like to go to the National Coal Mining Museum with me?
See ya.
I love Def Leppard’s ‘Pyromania’ album.
He has a flashy coat!
Hello.
In my opinion, Hermione Granger is not a slag.
Why does the internet suck so badly?
What’s up with this internet?
Is this your first longsword dance?
Manual for Speed
What’s Manual for Speed?
Manual for Speed is a website about the spectacle of road cycling.
My name is Daniel, what’s your name?
How old are you?
Excuse us, let us through, we’re press!
Welcome to the National Railway Museum!
Where do they sell socks around here?
Do you think Wiggo will win?

AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE IN DAVID MILLAR’S HOTEL ROOM THAT WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT.

YET.

At precisely 8:00 AM we entered David Millar’s Hotel Room on the other side of town. We can’t tell you what transpired in that Hotel Room on account of the verbal Non-Disclosure Agreement we signed. In the meantime, a clue: even in retirement, David Millar continues to have An Unfair Advantage. David Millar also has a Maserati and a cool felt hat.

SELBY

Between roughly 9:30am and 10:30am we got mired in traffic in downtown York due to the unrelated but kinda related Women’s race taking place later in the day throughout the city center. Because of that, we missed the start. This man behind this wall was as close to the start as we got.