If there is one word that captures the feeling one has when first laying eyes on room 301 in the Best Western Casa Grande, it is Palatial. One must assume that this room was built to house POTUS & FLOTUS, and a tall and demanding POTUS & FLOTUS to boot. I mean a stuffed leather couch in a motel?, that is just perfect for FREE late night Home Box Office! If that doesn’t say designed to be chilled on by the leader of the free world, then I don’t know what does. How about a highly stylized wrought iron partition? While the true sophistication of this beautiful piece might go over the head of most, there’s no denying the beauty of its design and placement. And the list of World Leader-level amenities goes on and on! The room has a built-in stove top, built-in tissue holder, even the shower has a built-in bench. It’s like whoever designed this room crawled into the President’s (which President doesn’t really matter because this is the kind of room any President would demand) mind and had a sit down meeting with the President’s fantasies. Desk? Check. Mini Fridge? Check. Two beds? Check. Twin Sinks? Check. Waste Bins? Check. Electrical Sockets, Carpet, Coat Hangers, Towels, Lights? Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Accommodations do not get any better than this! The only thing missing is reliable WiFi. But what kind of President would need that?
Wednesday Morning Addendum: After a weary night caused by internet worries I went to the lobby to suss out the promised discount regarding our rooms complete lack of functional internet. This is where it gets good. Turns out that if you go into the lobby at the Best Western Casa Grande and let the desk jockey know that hey you are here to figure out the promised discount for your room because a. you booked the hotel with the understanding that there would be WiFi in your room. b. that you were never informed that this could be an issue due to motel occupancy. c. if there is an issue you, the hotel guest, not the hotel is responsible for calling, waiting on hold, and conversing with a call center in another part of the world d. you will understand that the call center you just called can do nothing to help you, if you tell them all that, the front desk jockey will only offer you a $20 discount and argue with logic so skewed and lacking any reason so robustly that you will have to call him out mid bullshit, you will have to tell him, “Hey you just said you weren’t here last night and didn’t know that we could have had our room changed, yet you are soooo sure that I am lying about internet dysfunction. If you would have been the one to call your call center then you would have understood that there were indeed issues, but since you lay this on the guest, since I had to do tech work Pro Bono, you have no idea.” So this is where you draw the line, you will say, “Hey, if the internet worked in my room I wouldn’t have to be down here, just after waking up, talking to you Mr. Golden Brows. I wouldn’t have had to stay up late on the phone with a call center trying to sort out your hotel’s equipment issues, I wouldn’t have to get up early to go to a coffee shop so that I can do the work that I expected be able to do at this hotel, and I wouldn’t have to sit here being called a liar.” After all is said and done Mr. Golden Brows offered me another $5 off, bringing our total discount to $25. $25 off for no internet and an attack on my/our personal integrity? On second thought the Best Western Casa Grande is not very presidential at all.