DEAR MANUAL FOR SPEED READERS
I have something to tell you. First though, two things:
- What I’m about to tell you will probably NOT come as a surprise. You probably knew all along.
- Not only have you known the whole time, you most likely don’t care, at all. It’s not that you’re indifferent, it’s just that, you have understandably low expectations of MFS when it comes to journalistic integrity and ethics.
Okay here goes. We’re not impartial, we’re partial. Yes, of course, we still care, and have always cared, and will continue to care about the whole giant sprawling spectacle. All of the fans and the support crew, even the police and the busted-ass Sacramento Valley towns like Lodi, we care about ALL of that shit. But I’m talking about Human Athletes. We’re not partial or unbiased when it comes to Human Athletes. I mean, we’ll publish photographs of anyone, it’s not about photographs. It’s about caring. We care a lot more about a specific group of dudes because they’re Our Dudes. It’s not an official thing, or a club, and they’re not all on the same team, they’re just dudes we like. That’s it. That’s all they have in common in respect to the Our Dudes thing. We just like them.
Before I go any further, we know that you know, that Castelli gives us the money and the resources to make this project possible. We like to think of our relationship with Castelli as an interpretation of the NPR underwriting model. And sometimes, on those rare occasions when we’re feeling both fanciful and frisky, we might refer to Castelli as our patron. The point is, our lives would be so much easier if we just focused on those athletes and teams either officially and/or ceremonially sponsored by Castelli. But we don’t. And Castelli, because they’re advanced thinkers with a deep and sustained interest in the Sport of cycling, reliably forgive our many weekly if not daily transgressions with regards to brand correctness, all in the name, we think, of transcendence.
We say hey, dude, tell the whole story and give the whole picture, don’t limit the scope or purview, don’t get hung up on the Scorpion too hard, just transcend that brand shit, and if you do, people will like what you do, and buy your shit. It helps that your shit is the best shit.
But listen, this is getting way off topic. Today was a good day for Our Dudes. First of all, Lachlan Morton and Johann van Zyl were in the break. If you don’t know who Lachlan is please stop reading this immediately. Dont even look at the photographs. Go down to the basement, grab a hammer, come back up stairs and start smashing your computer into hundreds of pieces. Then pour some gasoline on it and light it on fire. We like Lachlan Morton so deeply and for so many reasons, it’s not even worth getting into at this point. We like Johann van Zyl because he let us (total strangers) into his house and played along with our YO! MFS Cribz game even though he had NO FUCKING idea what Manual for Speed was. That takes some serious open mindedness, or maybe he was just bored that afternoon, who cares?, he was gracious and accommodating whatever his reasons.
I was on a photo moto today. I passed both those dudes about a hundred times, and each time I did, I shouted their names along with words of encouragement, e.g., LACHLAN MORTON!!!!!! DON’T BE TOO KASUAL!!!!!!!! Also, I made a special effort to photograph both of them better than everyone else in the break. Speaking of which, I have no clue who else was in that break. At all. I don’t remember and I don’t care.
Second of all, Joe Dombrowski got fourth. And Phil Gaimon got 17th. And Ben King got 21st. And I don’t care what Alex Howes got because he’s Alex Howes and he was there and he doesn’t have to get anything as far as we’re concerned. Same goes for Joe Lewis and Kiel Reijnen.
On the way up Baldy every time we (my moto and I) passed Joe, which, we passed him a lot because he was WAY off the front of the group with Ian Boswell and Peter Sagan and Sergio Luis Henao Montoya and that French kid, who won it, I shouted at Joe. I never know what to say in situations like that. I mean, you can only say GO so many times. Also, in this particular case I don’t like the way GO JOE sounds because I never really liked the show that much. I mean, Snake Eyes was cool I guess but that was about it. So anyway, pretty quickly I started running YOU GOT THIS. I liked YOU GOT THIS because A.) I really bona fide thought he had it, and I mean, he almost had it B.) he was legit in the fight, he needed something more than a canned GO. My thinking was he needed to hear it said out loud that it was possible. He needed to believe it.
Also none of this matters anyway because those fuckers can’t hear you. Over the sound of the motorcycle, and the cars and all the horns and the helicopter. Oh, and the sound of their hearts beating 212 times a minute. And their breathing. And the the pain.”- DWPSo I think what I want to say is this. Maybe Manual for Speed needs to recuse itself from any remaining semblance of journalism. And while obviously nobody is likely laboring under any big misconception here, I just wanted to be super-duper clear. Because none of the other photographers shout at their dudes. And none of the other crew, like moto drivers, judges and police officers, are cheering racers on. It’s the fans on the side of the road—on top of their cars, in the trees, running alongside racers as they pass, wearing stupid clothes, making stupid noises, dancing to 2 LIVE Crew, jumping around in bubbles—and Manual for Speed, which I guess make us Fans. Which, whatever.
Dear Joe Dombrowski, if you’re reading this. I just wanted to say I don’t know what to say. When you finished I was so excited for you. I came over and I don’t know why but I sorta hugged you or something. Like, I guess I just wanted to touch your or pat you or hug you or something, and say dude, what a fucking ride, that was such a good ride, dude!!!!!!!!, you rode away from Sagan, and you and Ian were right there for soooooooo long, and I’m sure you’re disappointed because yeah, real talk, fourth fucking sucks, not because it’s not amazing, it’s definitely amazing, but because it’s one off the podium right, and you worked so hard and you got so close, and so dude, I totally get it, but also, THAT RIDE WAS AMAZING, that stage was amazing, and you played a pretty fucking key role in it, you were right there, and you did something dude, you did something really big, so I’m happy for you. But instead, I don’t think I said anything. I think I just kinda like grabbed your arms or something and walked away awkwardly. So yeah, I’m sorry. That was weird. But dude, I was just excited and I suck at being a fan obviously. But also Manual for Speed sucks at journalism too. So maybe, what this is is a Reality TV show. But I don’t want it to be a Reality TV show because they suck, I hate Reality TV shows, it’s like, fuck it, I would rather sell used cars then host a Reality TV show, but that’s another story. This story is about how our mutual friend Jay Moglia from D.C./West Virginia started talking about you several years ago, about how you were a phenom, and it’s about how we interviewed you at the Tour of Utah by a pool like three years ago and you were funny and humble and kind, and then you went to Team Sky and we don’t really know what happened but it sounded crazy-rough, and now it seems like you’re back, like in America or something, even though you’re rarely in America because you live in Europe most of the year, but I think it’s because you’re riding for Garmin and Garmin is American, and so you’re back and you’re racing really well, and dude, today was siiiiiiiiiiiq I don’t care what you say.