Results for
2015 Tour De France
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There was some Deep Stoke at the Mountain Chewbacca camp today.

2015 TDF: Stage 07

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Distance 190.5 km Number of Steps 8,580 steps or 4.20 miles. Time of Filing 1:33 AM (Our fastest submission yet!)


Tonight we are in the Brit Hotel Le Castel in Rennes, France. Rennes is pronounced Ren, which means the last three letters, the n, the e, and the sare all silent. It’s never pronounced Rene, like Russo and Descartes, it’s always pronounced Ren. The best part about the Brit Hotel is everything. It’s basic. It’s clean and it’s accommodating. That’s what you want from a hotel, you want accommodation. You can even order a continental breakfast delivered to you before 10:00 AM for an extra three euros.

Bonus Points for: 1) Tinkoff-Saxo is staying here. I saw Alberto. Alberto is here! We’re staying with Alberto. SIDE NOTE: The hotel parking lot area was crawling with Media Vampires (like MFS), Grommets (my personal favorite), Pro-Hos, and Fans when we pulled in. 2) Team Bora-Argon 18 is staying here. 3) We are across the street from a Pizzeria & Crêperie. 4) We are across the street from the Aigle Rouge Buffet a Wok Volante. Aigle Rouge translates to the Red Eagle.

Today’s Objectives

Sleep-in. ✓
Photograph La Havre. X
Photograph one race related place/moment. ✓

WIFI Details

No Password! No Username! No random Kick-Offs! The speed?, it’s adequate, maybe even adequate-plus.


C’est Magnifique, though in the afternoon I had to switch from Outlier Merino Wool Sweatpants to my Outlier Shorts.

Quote of the Day

“Look, it’s Tinko Saxoff”

“This bike race smells like cigarette smoke.”

“Don’t confuse the Wash bottle with the Drink bottle.”
-Soigneurs discussing post-race bottle delivery

“If my baby wants noodles, I’m going to get my baby some noodles.”

“It’s just not practical to bring your own milk into the hospitality tent”
-Keiran Best



When I first moved to Portland, Oregon every now and then I’d have a reason to go to the Left Bank Building between Broadway, Vancouver, Weidler and Wheeler. I-5 is just to the right here, traffic is terrible, everything is one-way, mostly solid striping, etc. etc. It’s better now but it used to be impossible to get to. It was easy to find. And it was easy to identify. It just wasn’t easy to arrive at. You could touch it and point at it as you passed by it, you just couldn’t stop anywhere near it. Forget about entering it. The exposure wasn’t horrible, I mean doing a lap and recalculating and swinging back around was only five minutes, but five minutes plus five minutes plus five minutes is eventually thirty-five minutes.


I think what’s so fascinating, and demoralizing, about the Tour de France isn’t the size and the scale, that’s to be expected, it’s a really big bike race. We knew it was big. No, what’s so infuriating, and mind-blowing and, I suppose, interesting in like a philosophical-type sense, are the walls. Guys there are walls EVERYWHERE here. They come in all kinds of sizes and shapes and permutations. Fences, barricades, human gendarmerie, wall-walls, credentials, stickers, etc. Someone or something is always preventing you from getting from where you are to where you want to be.

You can see it, you can touch it, you can point to it, but you can’t get to it.

I’m not complaining, I’m just talking out loud. I think the Tour de France is great. Plus I will happily eat pain au chocolates several times a day every day for the rest of my life. And shit, I will get into that Podium Harem Trailer sooner or later. So we’re cool, I got this.


  1. Covering this race is really expensive. Also, it’s a little bit redundant. So. What if we (MFS) went to Slovenia for a couple of days and did our thing, the immersion and the photographs and the writing, and the daily blogging, only on super discotheques and music festivals, not cycling? Maybe three days, five tops. First of all, would anyone be into that? Second of all, would anyone notice? Would traffic go up or down? Assuming we continued to publish every day. I mean, we’d still call it Stage 8, Stage 9, etc. We have enough generic race photos we could “pepper-in” some racing content.
  2. Are theatrical reenactments of each stage a good idea? Following the finish we head to a bar with a bag full of lycra, find a couple of the right people, maybe set some ground rules, turn on a video camera and later upload it to the internet.
  3. Hey Publicity Caravan people where do you go after the race? Where do you park your cars shaped/dressed like toothpaste tubes, Dalmatians, gingerbread cookie houses and zeppelins? When you’re done drive-by throwing shit at thousands of bouncing TDF fans for 165 kilometers at a time, where do you park and what do you do? Manual for Speed wants to do some portraits with you. Maybe a typology or just like a Yearbook kinda thing. Maybe some interviews. I want to ask you about the harness system you’re all wearing, is that really necessary? Have you ever like, tested it?, for sport? Also, you must get tan as shit doing that job. Anyway, you guys look great out there bringing The Pump and whatnot, I think we should do some snaps.


    High Points
  • Sleeping in!
  • Waking up in La Havre.
  • Pont de Normandie!!! Over the Seine!!! The bridge, it looks like a giant vagina!!!!
  • Private Music Collection.
  • Eating and drinking more or less on demand, like we do in America every day of our lives.
    Low Points
  • Today is the second time I have driven past Mont St. Michel and haven't had the time to actually stop for a visit. It looks pretty remarkable from a distance, like a Castle with a tidal moat. Or Valhalla if Valhalla was made of rock and built in an ocean instead of the sky.
  • Failed to shoot La Havre.
  • Hotel Brit refused to serve us dinner in their world famous Le Castel Restaurant, claiming something about a bike race.
  • Hotel Brit refused to make me a cappuccino, claiming something about being too busy because of feeding a bike race. They would, however, make me an espresso and provide me with some cold milk.



Je dois un autocollant sur ma voiture. Voulez-vous s’il vous plaît regarder l’autocollant sur ma voiture. L’autocollant sur ma voiture me donne accès à la course avant la course. Il est tout à fait bonne ce est.

I have a sticker on my car. Would you please look at the sticker on my car? The sticker on my car gives me access to the race before the race. It is quite sufficient.


  1. Sleep in.
  2. Check out of hotel at 11:00 AM.
  3. Do to Le Havre what we did to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
  4. Leave Le Havre at 1:15 PM and drive 2.75 hours straight to Fougères.
  5. Arrive at Fougères at 3:30 PM and document Rando Chiller & Finish Line (the race will finish at approx 5:10 PM).
  6. Drive to Rennes at 6:00 PM
  7. Arrive around 7:00 PM.


Yesterday we listened to nothing because five days of French Radio was starting to negatively impact our lives. Yes, pop, Euro-House, French artist music has huge entertainment value. And yes, it’s a little bit like cultural immersion, you do it to get the feel, the lay of the land, and to better understand what’s what on the street. But before you know it you’ve moved from “sport” listening to Radio Fun FM to listening-listening to Radio Fun FM. And then, by the end of the fifth day you don’t know why but you suddenly feel immediately violent. Like in those movies where a regular person (the hypnotized) is shopping at a fruit stall in a city center proximal to a presidential speech rally on the steps of the courthouse, and gets what he thinks is just a random call but it’s not, it’s a call from a diabolical mastermind (the hypnotizer), and the diabolical mastermind says like two super basic mundane-type words, like red eagle and immediately the reg person goes dead-eyed, drops the fruit in her hands to the ground, walks over to the steps, takes a grenade out of her purse and throws it at the stage on which currently the president is chanting FOUR MORE YEARS, FOUR MORE YEARS!.

Anyway, after getting Red Eagled at the end of Day 5 we switched to radio silence. Today though, we listened to music from my Private Collection. TO BE CLEAR, my music playing device was on shuffle, and this list reflects that. This is not a curated list. I just want to be clear and transparent about that. In some cases the song choices, based on the artist in question, are curious/nonsensical. Tomorrow I’m thinking of doing a French-inspired mix though, time and brain-mind health permitting.


  • 1 Heterotic Problemo
  • 2 Flume & Chet Faker Drop the Game
  • 3 Matthew Dear Temptation
  • 4 Banks Warm Water
  • 5 Young Wonder Flesh
  • 6 Odesza feat. Briana Marela For Us
  • 7 TOKiMONSTA Steal My Attention
  • 8 Studio Montaigne Still Waiting (CätCät Remix)
  • 9 Zhala I'm in Love
  • 10 Shiba San OKAY
  • 11 Rudi Zygadio Lily
  • 12 Shamir In for the Kill



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