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2015 Tour De France
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MTN-Qhubeka Team Bus Eritrean Supporters Club
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There was some Deep Stoke at the Mountain Chewbacca camp today.

2015 TDF: Stage 06

Click to view whole series

Distance 191.5 km Number of Steps 17,603 or 8.5 miles Time of Filing 4:07 AM Accommodations To get to Hotel Kyriad in Le Havre City Centre you have to drive through a McDonald’s parking lot; it’s just past the Ronald Land. And that’s… about that. Sidenote: Movistar and AG2R are staying in the same hotel.

Today’s Objectives

Unlock the hidden potential of the Race Bible and the Race Bible maps. ✓!
Photograph the start. ✓
Photograph the course somewhere in/around/near Dieppe, in particular one of the two Côtes; Côte de Dieppeor Côte de Pourville-sur-Mer. ✓!
Photograph the finish. ✓
Make it to our hotel after the finish in less than 20 minutes. ✓
No stress, or a least considerably less stress than yesterday. ✓-

WIFI Details No more edging, we’re fully in it now, embrace the suck. Weather Sunny but pleasant. So pleasant. The pleasantest.

DEAR WORLD

RACE REPORT

  1. Dear Tyler Farrar, thanks for talking to me today. You are the first racer Manual for Speed has spoken to at the 2015 Tour de France. I haven’t talked in so long I almost forgot how it was done. At smaller European races, and Domestic races, we talk to racers all the time, we’re even friends with some of them. You got Howes and Kiel, the Kings, Dombrowski, etc. Not to mention the crit scene. Anyway, I really enjoyed it. Good luck out there and let’s do it again sometime soon.
  2. France, this might sound like I’m criticizing you or being confrontational. I’m not. At least I’m not trying to, it’s just an observation-question type deal that I wanted to run past you. This morning we left our hotel in the city centre of Amiens and drove to the start in Abbeville. The first five miles or so were on surface streets, then we got on a Motorway/Toll Road [Side Note: These tolls are killing us. If we Manual For Speed had a donation button would anybody use it?] for about 30 miles. And not once did we pass a place to buy coffee. Is that possible? Like, when I say that are you thinking the whole time, nonononononono you are doing it wrong. Or, are you like yeah, sounds about right? I mean, are they hidden, is there maybe some kind of secret knock, or symbols written in chalk on the sides of buildings like the hobos used to do? Or is it something totally simple, like here in France places that sell coffee look exactly like Barber Shops in America. Thoughts?
  3. Every Time I have to dig past my running shoes in my suitcase I want to cry. They mock me. They are heavy and bulky and utterly & aggressively superfluous. Like my bib and my lanyard, they are a reminder of my lot in life. It’s starting to feel like I’m surrounded by a 3D catalog of artifacts illustrating my Poor Life Decisions. Like an interactive Failure Museum. Also, it’s like dude, I can feel myself getting fat and growing real-time.
  4. The apartment we stayed in last night requires guests to pack out their trash. Listen, I understand why Leave No Trace is a sound policy in, say, National and State Parks, but in a Czechoslovakian Prison Camp Dude Ranch Hotel?
  5. Dear Google Maps Department, first things first, LOVE the map!, please keep up the good work. One thought though, route-specific time estimates are based on the time of entry, but what if you’re doing your planning at 10:00 PM (no traffic) but not actually leaving until the following morning at 8:30 AM (lots of traffic)? Depending on the route and time of day in question, the difference can be substantial. [Hey DWP, KEB here. You can totes do that, but maybe not on mobile? In your browser once you load up some directions there will be a little button that says “Leave Now” and has a clock next to it, click that jammer and you can program in a departure time. Also, since I’ve got you on the phone, what about “sensitivity” options for the Blue Dot Lady? She’s pretty aggressive. I get it, in general, it makes sense to err on the side of overzealousness, but what if there were settings? Like, Dope Smoker, Type A, Mom, Bud, etc. Dope Smoker would forget shit all the time and fall asleep a lot. Type A is basically what you have now. Bud would be somewhere in the middle. Mom would be like Bud plus. And they could all have different voices/accents/vocabularies, you know, in keeping with their “character.” Anyhoo, thanks for listening!!!]
  6. Leaving the start ahead of the race is a little bit like being on a high-speed parade float. Everyone wants you to wave and beep and smile. Children in matching red polka dot bucket hats. Sweet old men with rosacea and matching yellow jumpsuits. Ladies with jungle cat photographs on their sweatshirts, dancing. Everybody is Pumped & Jazzed. It’s contagious.

    You hate and you hate and you hate a little less, and then you ‘sup this one group of cool-looking teenagers and before you know it you’re just a-beeping and a-honking and a-smiling your way down the road. Yayyayayayayyayayaayyayay! Everybody! The Tour de France. It’s coooooooming!

  7. Speaking of which, we had a breakthrough moment on the way to today’s start. We figured it out, we figured how to read the Race Bible/Road Book. There are symbols and it’s color coded so it took a day or two but we cracked it! I’m not saying we’re never not going to fuck up again, because clearly that’s happening, but we’re gaining on the situation. We’re starting to win.
  8. Halfway to Le Havre we passed Neufchâtel-en-Bray, where the almost-cream cheese cheese was invented.
  9. Today’s finish was at the top of hill on a road between government housing and a prison last used by Louis IV, King of France.
  10. I need to go beret shopping. What is a good beret? How do I ensure that I buy only the best most expensive most artisanal beret? I collect regional hats based on bike races I have documented. But seriously, is there an alternative to the beret, please!?!??! That isn’t it right? The Tour de France has to be represented by a beret, seriously?

DEAR MANUAL FOR SPEED READERS

A Follow-up to Yesterday’s R/C/A

We received several texts in response to yesterday’s Garmin Team Bus-related solicitation. We don’t have room to print them all, but here is a short selection of our favorites. If you don’t see your submission reproduced below please do not become anxious or agitated, we are all winners, even you.

 

  1. “I got your reason, frites.”
  2. “The young Cannondale team is caught in a Negative Thought Black Hole. They need to know they are Winners & Athletes of the highest caliber. A visit with MFS would promote positivity and better results.”
  3. Simply the image reproduced below, no explanation, no context, just a screenshot. Your guess is as good as ours.

TOUR DAY FRANCE

Manuel’s Take on Stage 06

Shark Suffers Smashup, Sadly Surrenders Sporting Sling

LEARNING FRENCH PHRASES! #4

AN EXPLORATION, A GLOSSARY, A CATALOG FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS

 

Où est la finition?

Where is the finish?

Bonus! Six key phrases, all of which I had to Google Translate mid-dinner. It's important to only knowingly enter the carousel of flavors.

MFS WHIPZ: TOUR DE FRANCE EDITION

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking these guys, this Manual for Speed operation, it’s some high level shit, like full-on Agency-style, like organized-integrated-inter-connectivity on lock, right-brain-and-the-left-brain, bicoastal, internationally curious, the whole deal. But sometimes Emiliano and I don’t have time to discuss every detail of everything that we’re working on, sometimes a bag of niece’s-homemade-art-project-looking heart-shaped magnets festooned with color and the letters ‘MFS’  just shows up at my house without warning and/or explanation and I’m expected to just figure it out. It wasn’t that hard. Magnets stick to metal. Cars are made of metal. I’m renting a car in the Netherlands for the Tour de France, I should travel with all 9 pounds of magnets to Europe and put them on my Clio when I get there. Which I did. I didn’t know why, and you know what, I didn’t need to know why. I still don’t know why. But guys, they make the car look pretty and people have been stealing them, so clearly they’re popular, they’re kinda like calling cards. Heart-shaped objects promote love, love promotes sex and the transmission of disease, I think I’m starting to get it, they’re just… fun.

Hand-painted hearts by Brian Kaspr!

A CHRONOLOGICAL BREAKDOWN OF THE DAY’S EVENTS

  • 9:54 AM: Started in Abbeville; easy peasy, best pain au chocolate ever.
  • 11:30 AM: Drove deviation past Neufchâtel-en-Bray; discussed the origins of cream cheese.
  • 11:59 AM: Headed off-deviation in the direction of Diepp for the first côte. Overshot first côte.
  • 12:55 PM: Went to second côte at Hautot-Sur-Mer where we said hello to the sea.
  • 1:34 PM: Stood across from each other on the course texting each other instructions on where we were posted up for a full eight minutes only to find we were standing DIRECTLY across the street from each other.
  • 2:13 PM: After shooting the côte, drove in reverse for a good 1/4 mile at about 28 mph trying to beat the crowd out of town.
  • 2:14 PM: Everything else.
Playlist

Today's Playlist

  • ARTIST ALBUM TRACK
  • 1 Mâitre Gims Est-ce que tu m'aimes?
  • 2 Nils Van Zandt feat. Brooklyn Haley For You
  • 3 Arthur H Navigateur Solitaire
  • 4 Martin Solveig & GTA Intoxicated

ABBEVILLE START

Facts according to the Tour de France’s PARTEGEONS LA PASSION

 

  1. Sub-prefecture of the Somme
  2. 24,900 inhabitants (Abbevillois)
  3. Economy: industry and agro-alimentary companies (Comap heating and plumbing products, Schlumberger, which produces equipment and cables for oil exploration, Valeo, which produces automotive equipment, dairy business Lactinov-SFPL, Babydrink baby milk).
  4. Culture: Saint-Vulfran college church (15th century), belfry (13th century), Church of the Holy Sepulchre featuring Alfred Manessier’s stained glass windows, Carmel (former convent), railway station (1862, registered as a historic monument), Boucher-de-Perthes Museum. Festivals: Winter Groove (contemporary music), Choir and Singing Festival, Bird and Nature Festival, Blues Nights.
  5. Sport: EAL Handball (national 3 Women’s league), SC Abbeville (hockey, National 2), ACA (table tennis, National 1). Events: La Ronde Picarde (sportive with 1,500 participants), international football tournament (juniors), Memorial Bruno Willecoq (running).
  6. Specialties: gâteaux battu (brioche-like cake), pavé de Saint-Vulfran (paté), ficelle picarde (savoury pancake stuffed with mushroom, cheese and ham), Avocette baguette.
  7. Sustainable Development: Parc de la Bouvaque, bus network, transport on demand.
  8. Distinctions: belfry that is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, Parc d’Emonville (classified as a remarkable garden), three-star floral city, Gateway to the Bay of the Somme.
"Bored with how the usual media was portraying the road cycling scene I now aim to bring people a slightly different slant on the scene. A more personal view from a none professionally trained but hugely fanatical fan angle."
Winner Anacona. Favorite video game: Assassin's Creed.
The National Police (French: Police nationale), formerly the Sûreté nationale, is one of two national police forces and the main civil law enforcement agency of France, with primary jurisdiction in cities and large towns.
twinsies- noun. Someone who has something in common with someone else. (Source: Urban Dictionary)
Fact or Myth? Squinting a lot damages your vision. Answer: Myth. Squinting may be a sign that you need glasses, but it isn't going to make your need for glasses any worse. (Source: ABC News)
"Sorry babe, we got no time for châteaus."

A Guy With No Time for Châteaus

CÔTE DE POURVILLE-SUR-MER

LE HAVRE CITY CENTRE

Facts according to the Tour de France’s PARTEGEONS LA PASSION

  1. Sub-prefecture of Seine-Maritime
  2. 173,200 inhabitants (Havrais), with 237,000 inhabitants within the 17 municipalities that make up the Community of Greater Le Havre (CODAH).
  3. Economy: industry (aerospace, automotive, petrochemicals, offshore wind). Shipping (France’s second biggest commercial port), tourism (cruise ship terminal), university and higher education establishments.
  4. Culture: St. Joseph’s Church, Graville Abbey (11th century), Le Volcan (the Volcano), Les Bains des Docks (aquatic complex), Stade Océane stdium, MuMa (André Malraux Museum of Modern Art, which has the best collection of Impressionist art in France outside Paris), hotel Dubocage de Bléville Mseum, The Shipowner’s House, Natural History Museum. Festivals: Z’estivales (street theater), MoZ’aïque (world music), Ouest Park (contemporary music), Le Goût des Autres (literature), Phraeneit (dance).
  5. Sport: Le Havre Athletic Club (football, winners of the Ligue 2 championship), Société des Régates (sailing), Club Natique Havrais (aquatics centre). Events: Transat Jacques Vabre, Normandy Sailing Week, Weekend de la Glisse (BMX, skateboard, etc.), L’Amazone (women’s running race).
  6. Specialties: white pudding, seafood.
  7. Sustainable Development: 90km of cycle routes, Vél’h (bike loan and hire), tramway.
  8. Distinctions: city centre rebuilt by Auguste Perret is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, city of art and history, Remarkable Garden classification for the Hanging Gardens, Blue Flag beach, OAP-friendly city.

FINDING THE FINISH

ILE HAVRE FINISH

STAGE 7 STRATEGY OPTIONS/ASSESSMENTS/OUTLINES

by Keiran Best

Option 1:

  1. Sleep in.
  2. Check out of hotel at 11:00 AM.
  3. Do to Le Havre what we did to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
  4. Leave Le Havre at 1:15 PM and drive 2.75 hours straight to Fougeres.
  5. Arrive at Fougeres at 3:30 PM and document Rando Chiller & Finish Line (the race will finish at approx 5:10 PM).
  6. Drive to Rennes at 6:00 PM
  7. Arrive around 7:00 PM.

Option 2:

  1. Sleep in.
  2. Check out of hotel at 11:00 AM.
  3. Do to Le Havre what you did to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
  4. Leave Le Havre at 1:15 PM and drive 2.75 hours straight to Levaré.
  5. Arrive Levaré at 4:00 PM.
  6. Shoot the race when it passes at 4:30 PM.
  7. Avoid shit show at end of race and head 1 hour directly to Rennes.
  8. Arrive Rennes at 6:00 PM and CHILL.

Option 3:

  1. Sleep in.
  2. Check out of hotel at 11:00 AM.
  3. Do to Le Havre what you did to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
  4. Leave Le Havre at 1:15 PM and drive 3 hours straight to Rennes.
  5. Don’t do anything TDF related AT ALL.
  6. Check into hotel in Rennes.
  7. Go back to sleep.
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