Results for
2014 Tour Down Under

2014 TDU: People’s Choice Classic

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  1. Police accused one of Tubular Tommy’s Pop-up Guerrilla Sausage Sizzle’s guests of inappropriate comments and lewd sausage waving.
  2. At the end of the race, before the start of the award ceremony, the event played Let it Roll by Flo Rida.
  3. At some point near the start/finish of today’s fake race we chased down Graham Watson stalker/fanboy-style. What follows is a transcript of our conversation. Side Note: the following transcript may, and should, serve as a realtalk breakdown/synopsis of today’s fake race.


  • MFS: Graham Watson, you don’t know me, but I know you, I know that you are Graham Watson, I know that you are a preeminent cycling photographer, in fact I think you might be [air quotes] THE cycling photographer. Of like, our generation or whatever.
  • GW: No, no I’m not, I’m not THE cycling photographer.
  • MFS: Okay, okay I see. Would you accept: One of THE cycling photographers et cetera, et cetera.
  • GW: Hmmm, yeah, okay. One of THE, but not THE.
  • MFS: What do I need to know about today’s stage?
  • GW: [silence]
  • MFS: Okay, so like what do we need to know about the character of today’s race, what’s happening, what’s it all about?
  • GW: [continued silence and then] Nothing is happening, it’s a one hour race.
  • MFS: Umm okay, but what’s the point?
  • GW: There is no point, it’s just a little warm-up for the rest of the week.


"Welcome to the People's Choice Undies Run for Bowel Cancer, a unique event that raises funds and awareness about the importance of bowel cancer screening."
Are you up for the challenge?
"In its first year, more than 1200 runners stripped down to their undies in front 100,000 spectators at the People's Choice Classic opening race of the Santos Tour Down Under, raising more than $120,000 for Cancer Council SA."


Photographer with better access than MFS, fig. 1
Photographer with better access than MFS, fig. 2
Photographer with better access than MFS, fig. 3
Photographer with better access than MFS, fig. 4
"Two laps into the race four riders rode clear to vie for prizemoney in three of the four intermediate sprints contested at the end lap five, ten and 15. Australian Nathan Haas (Garmin-Sharp) claimed all three of the sprints ahead of his breakaway companions Italian Luca Wackermann (Lampre-Merida) and French pair Axel Domont (AG2R La Mondiale) and Anthony Roux (" Official Santos Tour Down Under Media Release
"German speedster Marcel Kittel (Giant-Shimano) has sprinted home to claim the 2014 People's Choice Classic crown ahead of countryman Andre Greipel (Lotto Belisol) and Australian young gun Caleb Ewan (UniSA-Australia) as the Santos Festival of Cycling kicked off in spectacular style on the banks of the River Torrens in Adelaide." Official Santos Tour Down Under Media Release
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