A CHRONOLOGICAL BREAKDOWN OF THE DAY’S EVENTS
- 7:15 AM: Packing up, we (Emiliano and I) notice that Klaus has brought a copy of Billy Ray Cyrus’ Hillbilly Heart with him to the USA Pro Cycling Challenge. We ask him why, he says, “So that I could read you passages from it during the longer transfers.”
- 7:59 AM: By way of commencing my second Starbucks event of the morning I ask the barista how many shots she/they/Starbucks can put in a venti. “We can put up to 18 shots in a venti. The most I’ve ever done is 16. It’s not a good idea though. Also it’s expensive.”
- 8:08 AM-10:25 AM (approx.): A Story and a List by Klaus Booya, excerpts from our two-plus hour Transfer/Road-trip from Beaver Creek, Colorado to Loveland, Colorado.
“So like eight years ago or so I was in LA. I was walking around with my friend who lived there at the time, and a guy standing in front of a GAP gave us free tickets for the Jimmy Kimmel Show, which he said were “very hard to come by”, even though they were being given away to anyone that walked by the GAP. Anyway, we went to the taping, and after the show, they had a band, the musical guest for the night, play in this sort of club/bar space that is connected to the theater where they taped. So they make all the audience from the taping go in there, and we’re standing around waiting for this awful band to play. It was Taproot, or Static-Xor something. I have no idea what the band was. So I’m standing there, and on the other side of a velvet rope maybe a foot away from me, are Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. They are at arm’s reach. The two of them were dating at the time. Sarah Silverman was standing in front of him, and he had his arms wrapped around her, like two high schoolers at a concert. The band hadn’t started yet, so it was really quiet in the room. The moment I saw them there, doing this weird hug thing, my reaction was to say the following thing, which I actually said out loud as a reflex.
Jimmy, get your fat hands off of her.
“I have no idea where it came from. It was like flinching if someone goes to punch you in the face or something, you can’t help it. It just came out. Jimmy kind of looked at me, and his face looked really squinty, like it usually does, sort of like a rotten plum that has been stepped on, and Sarah Silverman didn’t even look at me, which makes sense. I mean, I’m sure celebrities get stupid people saying stupid crap to them all the time, but this was just a weird outburst, like an instinct that I couldn’t help, and it surprised even me. I’m not particularly proud of it, but it happened. What can you do?”
A List of Some Songs and Music in General That Drummers Listen to Because of the Drumming, Moreso Than Because of the Songs Themselves
- Steely Dan – Aja: Seemingly simple, but actually complex while remaining very tasteful.
- Steely Dan – Home At Last: Perhaps the greatest example of the “Purdie Shuffle”, as invented and played by Bernard Purdie, perhaps the most recorded drummer in history.
- Toto – Rosanna: An interesting variation on the Purdie Shuffle, which actually contains the primary bass drum pattern from Led Zeppelin’s “Fool In The Rain”. The song features Jeff Porcaro on drums, who sadly died of a cocaine overdose while spraying insecticide on his back yard.
- Any Miles Davis recording with Tony Williams, because he was amazing, but also because he was like 12 years old at the time, and he was half the size of his own drumset.
- May God and the heavens above forgive me for saying this next one, but it’s true. And I know that this band has so many awful things about it, that it’s not worth even going into, but Dave Matthews Band – Tripping Billies. The song is an amazing example of an almost exclusive use of linear drumming, which is basically the percussive equivalent of pointillism. By that I mean that he doesn’t usually hit more than one thing at a time, it’s linear drumming. By the way, Carter Beauford, the drummer, often wears Specialized base layers when he plays drums. I don’t really know why. I’ve noticed this, because I own his instructional drumming video, which is called Under the Table and Drumming. It’s quality stuff. I have several instructional videos like that one on my iPad. Right now, on my video playlist are two different videos by Dave Weckl, who is amazingly talented, but is mostly known for playing music that sounds like something you’d hear in the background of a diaper commercial. But yeah, Dave Matthews Band? As a band, and their fans… Good God. They make you want to die for even knowing their music. There are so many awful aspects to their music, like when Dave Matthews goes, “Buda’ babyyy” in a high pitched voice. Ugh. But Carter Beauford’s drumming, man. You have to put aside the parts of the music you don’t like, and you focus on the drumming. It’s like enjoying a painting, but hating the subject matter or something. Like, you enjoy the way it looks, but it’s a painting of a butthole next to a bowl of popcorn. Just something that makes no sense to you at all.
- Best Young Drummer: Tony Royster Jr, who won the Guitar Center drum-off a few years ago. He plays with Jay-Z and En Vogue now. He’s superbly talented, and has the ability to play grooves, just play “in the pocket”, but can also handle complex time signatures, and can really go off too.
- Most Courageous Drummer: Maybe “courageous” is overselling it, but John Longstreth from the band Origin did some really amazing stuff on the band’s first record. In a way, he incorporated some subtleties and dynamics of fusion and jazz drumming in one of the fastest, densest death metal records ever, which oddly enough is completely devoid of dynamics. Look, by drumming standards, the stuff is somewhat simple, but at those speeds, it was a breath of fresh air.
- Funkiest Drumming Moment: Clearly, the obvious choice here would be anything that Clyde Stubblefield recorded with James Brown. But I’ll take a different and perhaps controversial approach here, and pick an unusual one. For me, it would have to be the drum introduction to the Kiss song “Torpedo Girl”, from the album Unmasked. The drummer on the record was Anton Figg, who now plays with David Letterman’s band. He’s from South Africa. Anyway, Peter Criss is listed as the drummer, and his face is on the cover, but it’s actually Anton Figg who plays that drum beat.
- 10:59 AM: We are looking for the Arena Circle START of Stage Six of the USA Pro Cycling Challenge somewhere in The Ranch – Larimer Country Fairgrounds. We drive to where we think Media Parking and the Big Bicycle Tournament (BBT) are and but they aren’t. Something else is; a parking attendant explains. “See the guys in the kilts? That’s the Strongman Contest. Beyond that, where the tents are, that’s the Weight Lifting Competition I think the bicycle race parking is way over there [the attendant points, roughly, to the other side of the Fairgrounds] but you can park in this overflow parking lot if you want. It’ll be little bit of walkin’ for you if you do. Otherwise go to the end of this street, do a U-ball and drive to the other side of the Fairgrounds.”
- 10:59:30 AM: The start of the BBT is basically less than thirty minutes from now, which means we have barely enough time to do something/anything right over there and but if we skip the START, a variation of which START we’ve photographed the last five mornings, we have all kinds of time to do Something Right right here, right where we are.
The Scottish Highland Games
- 11:15 AM: “This event is called Scottish Highland Games (aka ‘Strongman Contest’). Right now we are throwing the Heavy Weight, it’s 56 pounds. Next we’re going to throw the Light Weight, which is 28 pounds. That over there is the Sheaf Toss. Caber toss is the one where we toss the wooden pole [dude points to a stack of Telephone Poles]. In total we’ll do seven events. Right now, Brian Staggs is leading.”