Dude, what happened? We fucking talked about this and the thing is I feel like I was super clear, about everything, about all of it. On Christmas Morning, or maybe Christmas Eve if that’s how you’re rolling this year, I wanted a bunch of small shit like a bona fide cowboy belt buckle from Lonetree Ranch in Lonetree, Wyoming, a full suspension mountain bike and I wanted it to be okay for guys to wear tights and leggings in wacky colors and prints. And not on a bike because obviously that’s basically already okay, you know what I mean, I mean causally, the way girls do, to like go to the store and grocery shop and meet friends at coffee shops on the weekends. It’s not okay, but I want it to be okay. Because they’re fun and I like the patterns you can get them in, and because I think sport goth is good look.
And then, what I really wanted and what I really needed and what WE totally agreed on, was a Kasual Klubtrifecta at the 2015 USA Cycling Men’s Road Race National Championships in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I know it’s like seven months or whatever early but YOU SAID that was fine, you would remember. And but anyway, then you and motherfucking Matthew Busche fucked it all up. I mean, I’m assuming you dudes were in collusion… like clearly his Christmas wish was something like, Dear Santa can I win Nationals because blah blah blah blah. And for whatever reason, his wish trumped my wish, which sucks.
And so now, Nationals was a total Nightmare. I mean, it wasn’t all bad, some good shit did happen, but basically all the shit that mattered, that we knew we wanted to happen, didn’t work right. To make sense of it all and because I know you like lists, I made two of them just for you.
Naughty Shit that Happened.
- Alex Howes didn’t win.
- Keil Reijnen didn’t win.
- Keil Reijnen flatted with 2k to go.
- Alex Howes and Keil Reijnen didn’t tie.
- Phil Gaimon crashed, and also didn’t win.
- Ted King and Ben King didn’t win.
- Tyler Farrar’s drive train broke on the climb when he was in a possibly good spot. I watched it all happen. It was tragic. Also, because he doesn’t ride for an American team providing proper support he was only allowed to bring one bike, so he had to finish the race on a titanium Moots three sizes too big for him.
- It rained.
Nice Shit That Happened
- I got on a moto.
- This dude Andrew Murphy we’ve been emailing with about a project called Cat 3 For Life introduced himself to me, in person, and commissioned the first ever Behind the Scenes Barricade Butts portrait.11Like, as in, he wanted to take a #barricadebutts photo of ME. Also, he introduced me to several of his friends and I think maybe a family member or two. We chatted several times throughout the day in various spots along the course, I liked them all very much.
- I met a preacher from Mississippi who reads Manual for Speed, and his wife. Didn’t see that coming. Dear preacher from Mississppi, it was very nice to meet you.
- Joe Dombrowski finsihed second! Dude!! You’re back!
- Kiel Reijnen finished third, in spite of a flat, ON THE LAST LAP. Dear Kiel, I know it stings, I know it sucks, but still, third is pretty fucking rad.
And the best thing that happened, by like, I don’t know, five hundred million percent, was that Kyle Murphy of the Murphy Brothers finished eighth.22He also finished 11th a few days earlier in the Time Trial. I didn’t even know he was going to be there. That was like, almost, a fair consolation prize. It wasn’t, but still, it was really, truly, amazing.